Witty and Hilarious Quotes About Life

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.

The trouble with life is that there’s no background music.

Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving.

I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side, nothing’s right, and on the right side, nothing’s left.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not fake.

Life is short, and you’re not.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Life is like a rollercoaster, and I’m screaming on the way down.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just dancing to the beat of a different drum.

Life is too short to be taken seriously, so laugh at yourself and spread some joy.

I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘Awesome’. It’s what everyone else calls me anyway.

Witty and Hilarious Quotes About Life part 2

Life is an adventure, so strap on your boots and let’s get lost.

I’m not lazy, I’m just extremely motivated to do nothing.

I don’t need a prince charming, I need someone who can make me laugh so hard that I snort.

Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Life is too short for boring hair.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.

Life is too short to wear boring socks.

The only thing I’m committed to right now is finding out how much food I can order for one person.

I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.

Life is like a box of chocolates, full of surprises and some of them are just nuts.

I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

Life is a beautiful ride, but you have to patch up the flat tires occasionally.

I’m not trying to be cool, it’s just that I’m naturally awesome.

Life is too short to hold grudges. So, if I owe you money, I’m sorry, I’ve moved on.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when it’s really necessary.

Life is like a hot bath, it feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.

I wish I could Google the things I’ve misplaced in my life, like my keys and happiness.

I don’t need a superhero. I just need a funny sidekick.

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me, I’ll laugh at you.

I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. At Candy Crush.

Life is like a kaleidoscope, sometimes you have to twist it to see the beautiful patterns.

I’m not saying I’m Batman. I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room.

Life is like a puzzle, you have to put the pieces together to see the bigger picture.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are still under construction.

Life is too important to be taken seriously, so make sure to laugh and have fun along the way.