Vizzini Quotes – Wisdom and Wit from The Princess Bride


You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!

Get used to disappointment.

Clearly you’ve never been stabbed in the back before, my friend.

I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself.

Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.

I’m currently involved in a battle of wits, and I refuse to be unarmed.

I could kill you now. Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in my favor.

I’ve been in the revenge business for so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Do you hear that, Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I grew up, I put childish ways behind me. Childish ways like revenge.

It’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean. Or so I’ve been told.

Every battle is won before it’s ever fought.

Never trust a Sicilian when death is on the line!

You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

I happen to be involved in a few things… criminal things…

I do not envy you the headache you will have when you wake up. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.

There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

You’ve fallen for one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is, ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well-known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.’

Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?

There’s not a lot of money in revenge.

Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death. That’s all.

I’m not a match for a giant like you, but my brains – brains, that’s where I’m a viking!

We are men of action, lies do not become us.

Do you think he’s using the same wind we are using?

I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you.

I’m waiting for you, Vizzini. You told me to go back to the beginning, so I have.

You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble someday.

I’m not a movie producer, I’m a genius.

I accept payments in cash, gold, and the blood of my enemies.

You only think I guessed wrong, that’s what’s so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned, ha ha, you fool!

You’re going to be all right. You just complicate things so much.

You mock my pain.

Do I sound like a wedding planner to you?

I can’t wait around for miracles, I gotta find me a miracle.

You don’t have to understand here, you just have to trust her.

Fezzik, tear his arms off.

I just want you to feel you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

You’re the miracle man. If you’re so miraculous, figure out a way for me to not be kidnaped.

Over my ugly body, princess.

They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

I guess we all have bad days.

When did that happen? And, even though I don’t like to think about it… why am I hearing it for the first time now?

Love, true love, is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.

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