Trailer Park Boys Quotes: Hilarious One-Liners and Memorable Moments from Sunnyvale

The liquor’s calling the shots now, Randy.

I’m mowin’ the air, Rand!

I am the liquor, Randy. Don’t you get it?

I’m not a pessimist, I’m an optometrist.

If I can’t smoke and swear, I’m fucked.

Sunnyvale, the slums of the universe.

We’re not criminals, we’re businessmen.

You see a cat in there? Fuck, boys, this place must be infested.

I’m not a good person, but I try to be better.

I am not a liar, I’m a professional storyteller.

Space is just a place full of junk.

I may not be the smartest guy, but I sure can grow a mean fuckin’ dope plant.

Anybody seen my good fuckin’ pants?

Don’t underestimate the power of the liquor, boys.

Lean into it, boys. Lean into the greasy wind.

The shit winds are blowin’, boys.

I didn’t choose the trailer park life, the trailer park life chose me.

I’m not a bank, boys. I don’t deal in adult bullshit.

If at first, you don’t succeed, just call it Plan B.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, judge it by the size of its fuckin’ prison.

Freedom 35? More like freedom to barely stay alive.

I’m not drunk, I’m just drinkin’.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

The winds of shit can blow in any direction.

A man’s gotta eat, even if it’s just stolen chips.

Just remember, boys, there are no stupid questions. Just stupid fuckin’ people.

I may not have an education, but I’ve got the school of hard knocks.

We’ve got a shit rope, boys. We’re all hanging on, just trying not to let go.

You know what they say, boys? When life gives you lemons, get mad and throw ’em the fuck back.

Love isn’t measured by how hard we fall but by how many times we get back up.

Sometimes, you gotta step back and let Ricky’s fuckin’ trainwreck of life crash without getting involved.

Life’s all about take, take, take. That’s why I hide my hash.

You don’t piss on hospitality, boys, especially in my fuckin’ trailer.

There’s always some cocksucker around the corner waiting to steal your dreams.

Just because I’m sleazy doesn’t mean I’m easy.

Never trust a fucker wearing a suit.

You can’t have jail without bail.

I’m not a quitter. I’m just taking a break from winning.

A man who doesn’t swear can’t be trusted.

I’m fuckin’ loaded, with more than just liquor, boys.

When life gives you prison, make a fuckin’ escape plan.

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys weed.

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

Success is just a bunch of fuck-ups hidden under an expensive suit.

Put a dollar sign on anything, and people will start killin’ each other for it.

I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

When life gives you shit apples, you make shit apple pie.

I’m not a hoser, I’m a fuckin’ patriot.

I may not be the best role model, but at least I’m entertaining.

Trailer park life may be shit, but at least it’s our shit.