Top Tina Belcher Quotes from Bob’s Burgers

I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.

If boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses.

I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman.

My heart just pooped its pants.

It’s OK to have a messy room sometimes. Same with your emotions.

I’m a little bit boy crazy. I’m like a smart, strong, sensual woman who’s just a little bit, like 13 percent boy crazy.

There’s a lot of carrots in that stew.

I’m like a beautiful, smart baby running for her life.

Time for the charm bomb to explode.

I just had a heart poop.

Our toaster is also confused. It doesn?t know why we put bagels in it.

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?

I?ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship with Jimmy Jr. You don?t just throw that kind of thing away.

Buns and guns, that’s what I work out.

When I die, I want you to cremate me, and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck’s face.

I don?t need a boy to pay attention to me. I?ll pay attention to myself.

I?m a little bit single, even when I?m not.

Time for the charm bomb to explode.

Everything I know to be true just got dislodiffanyed.

My crotch is itchy.

If I love you and you love me, isn’t that just how the world should be.

I?m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.

Butts, butts, I love butts.

I have a complicated relationship with zombies. They?re dangerous, but I love their swagger.

I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.

Whoops, I’m not a size

I’m a size magic!

The hand wants what the hand wants.

Our toaster is also confused, it doesn?t know why we put bagels in it.

Everyone touched each other?s butts, and it was great.

I need a new life, one without back hair.

I may or may not have started a unicorn erotica internet fan fiction series.

The more you have in your back pocket, the more you have to lose.

I?m pretty sure I filled out the form to not fall deeply in love.

Butts butts butts, put your hands up for butts.

I?m a smart, strong, sensual woman. We?re all the same.

I guess I?ll have to become beautiful the old-fashioned way: with a high-powered career and multiple lovers.

It’s like my mind had a drive-thru, and thoughts just kept on coming.

I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time just like everyone else.

Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.

If boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses.

Don’t have a crap attack!

Time for the charm bomb to explode.

If we see any mermaids, I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are.

I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman.

I want a dry-erase board so I can write down all my private thoughts and then erase them immediately.

I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever.

I’m a little bit scared of everything and I hate that about myself.

I don’t need a boy to pay attention to me. I’ll pay attention to myself.

Everything I know to be true just went out the window.

I’m not a hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.

I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

My heart just pooped its pants.

I may have a sexy learning disability. I call it ‘Sexlexia’.

I believe horses are from outer space.

I’m a strong, sensual woman who will not sit quietly!

My crotch is itchy.

Everything I’m saying is a lie… except for that. And that. And that.

Chores are a snooze, I?d rather be at the beach, where I?m on booze.

I?m freaking out! I?m under a lot of pressure. It?s like when I meet a dog, and I immediately have to live up to the idea of that dog.