I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.
Six pack coming soon.
Sarcasm: Just one of the many services I offer!
I paused my game to be here.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I speak fluent sarcasm.
Don’t hate me because I’m beardiful.
0% Interest in your opinion.
Trust me, I’m a Jedi.
Too much bacon said no one ever.
I am your father…of all dad jokes.
I’m the reason why the rum is always gone.
I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.
I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than you.
Born to procrastinate. Forced to work.
Mind over matter. I don’t mind and you don’t matter.
I was normal 3 cats ago.
On the Eh team.
Sleep is my cardio.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order. AS THEY SHOULD BE.
The only sport I do is jumping to conclusions.
The zombie apocalypse is closer than you think. Keep calm and carry a chainsaw.
I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t comprehend it for you.
I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
I’m just in it for the parking.
Exercise? I thought you said Extra Fries!
Did I just roll my eyes out loud?
Absolutely unimpressed with the situation.
The sarcasm is strong in this one.
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
In dog beers, I’ve only had one.
Shirt happens.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Running late is my cardio.
Weekend forecast: mostly drunk with a chance of bad decisions.
I am silently correcting your grammar.
Professional overthinker.
Thou shall not try me. – Mood 24:
Caution: Sarcastic and grumpy person.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Gravity checks done daily.
It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone.
I paused my game to be here.
I may be wrong but it’s highly unlikely.
Clearly, I have made some bad decisions.
Coffee because adulting is hard.
If nothing goes right turn left.
Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
My six pack is under construction.
I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than other guys.
I do not spew profanities, I enunciate them clearly, like a gentleman.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
The older I get, the better I was.
I put the ‘me’ in awesome.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I speak fluent sarcasm.
I paused my game to be here.
My wife says I don?t listen to her. Or something like that?
Easily Distracted by Cars and Girls.
I?m not anti-social. I?m selectively social.
I?m as single as a dollar and I?m not looking for change.
You read my t-shirt. That?s enough social interaction for today.
Sorry I?m late, I didn?t want to come.
I?m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.
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