I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.
Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior.
I’d rather not go into it, if you don’t mind. I hate saying stuff out loud. Only phonies like to say stuff out loud.
People always clap for the wrong things.
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late?
I’m always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met.
I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.
If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate everybody in the world, I swear you did.
I’m quite illiterate, but I read a lot.
I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood.
Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.
It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.
It’s no fun to be yellow. Maybe I’m not all yellow. I don’t know. I think maybe I’m just partly yellow and partly the type that doesn’t give much of a damn if they lose their gloves.
Do you feel absolutely no concern for your future, boy? You just don’t worry about anything. You don’t give a damn.
I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It’s nice.
I have a feeling that you’re riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall.
It’s the only thing that I’d really like to be.
I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.
Man, that really knocks me out. He was always asking you to do him a favor.
Mothers are all slightly insane.
I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.
You don’t always have to get too sexy to know a girl.
The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
You never saw such gore in your life.
I sort of like it when somebody tells me to do something or something. I mean it’s not exactly that I like to be told what to do, but about things like that, I like to be told what to do. To tell you the truth.
I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.
Anyway, I’m sort of glad they’ve got the atomic bomb invented. If there’s ever another war, I’m going to sit right the hell on top of it.
He probably wouldn’t have done it at all, if you want to know the truth. He was more of a humorist than anything else.
I’m a madman, I really am.
People never think anything is anything really important until they get the right kind of experience.
Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.
You never really know a guy until you’ve seen him give a loving hello to his sister.
I think if you don’t really like a girl, you shouldn’t horse around with her at all.
That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall in love with them.
The thing about a psychic is that you will sometimes see a girl that you didn’t like too much, and she looks terrific to you.
Even when I was Catholic, I never thought the crucifix was a religious thing.
I don’t even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it.
Anyway, I kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, without any tie on or anything.
I felt like putting my red hunting hat on, but I knew it wouldn’t be smart. It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
They were these two very stubborn, conceited bastards, and they both kept telling me how lucky I was, though.
Boy, I hate it when somebody yells at me.
I’m sick of being in the dark all the time. I’m sick of running around
Boy, I really like those rubber cement walls.
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