I am McLovin, and I will McLovin’ your face off.
I don’t want to be that guy who always talks about how badass he was in high school, but I was pretty badass.
You know you’re doing the right thing when your friends are begging you not to do it.
You can either be a good person or a cool person, but you can’t be both.
High school is like a prison, but with more bullies and less food.
I have a fake ID, but I also have a fake personality, so it all evens out.
If you want to be popular, just pretend to be confident until you actually are.
The key to surviving high school is knowing who the real losers are and avoiding them at all costs.
If you want to make a good impression, always carry a mixed CD with you. It shows that you have good taste in music and a lot of free time.
The best kind of party is the one where everyone ends up in jail.
If you want to get a girl’s attention, just ignore her. Works every time.
Life is like a movie, and high school is just the opening scene. The real fun starts when you leave.
If you’re not breaking the rules, you’re not having fun.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but at least I have a good sense of humor.
Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than smart. Or better yet, lucky and smart.
If life gives you lemons, just add tequila and make a margarita.
You can always tell a lot about a person by what kind of candy they like.
If you want to be a legend, you have to do something legendary. Like winning a hot dog eating contest.
Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
Failure is just a temporary setback on the road to success. Or maybe it’s a permanent roadblock. I don’t know, I’m still figuring it out.
Life is too short to be serious all the time. Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself, especially when you’re covered in Vaseline.
Being cool is overrated. Being weird is where it’s at.
If you want to be the life of the party, just bring a keg. Or better yet, two kegs.
Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to. Unless it’s something really cool, then you definitely have to.
I may not be the best looking guy, but I make up for it with my charming personality. And my amazing dance moves.
The key to success is never giving up. Unless you’re lost, then giving up might be the best option.
If you can’t be yourself, be someone else. Preferably someone with a lot of money and a private jet.
Life is like a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs. And sometimes vomit.
If you want to be the king of the world, you have to start by being the king of your own backyard.
The best way to win an argument is to yell louder than the other person. Or just throw a punch. Works every time.
If you want to be successful, you have to surround yourself with successful people. Or at least people who are good at faking it.
If you want to be a millionaire, just start with a billion dollars and start a business. Trust me, it works.
Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to ignore it and hope it goes away. Works surprisingly often.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, but it’s probably gonna be messy and leave you with regrets.
If you want to be a superhero, just wear a cape and act like you know what you’re doing. Works every time.
The higher you climb, the harder you fall. Unless you’re a cat, then you just land on your feet and walk away like nothing happened.
If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to take risks. Like wearing socks with sandals or eating a hot dog with ketchup.
You know you’re in love when you’re willing to do stupid things for the other person. Like watching their favorite movie a hundred times or wearing matching shirts.
If you want to make a good first impression, just be yourself. Unless yourself is boring, then be someone else.
Life is like a game of poker. Sometimes you have to bluff, sometimes you have to fold, and sometimes you have to go all in and hope for the best.
If you want to be the boss, you have to act like the boss. Even if you have no idea what you’re doing.
You know you’ve made it when people start writing quotes about you. Or when you have your own action figure. Either way, you know you’ve made it.
The best kind of friends are the ones who will bail you out of jail and then ask if you remembered to flush the drugs down the toilet.
If you want to be a player, you have to play the game. And by game, I mean Dungeons & Dragons.
The key to happiness is not caring what other people think. Unless what they think is that you’re awesome, then definitely care what they think.
If you want to be a superhero, you have to wear spandex. It’s the law.
Life is like a puzzle, and sometimes you have to force the pieces together even if they don’t fit. Or just get a new puzzle, that works too.
If you want to be the best, you have to beat the best. Or just cheat, that’s easier.
You know you’re a badass when people start using your name as a verb. Like, ‘He just McLovin’ed that test!’
Life is like a box of crayons. Sometimes you have to break them to get the full experience.
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