Sue Sylvester Quotes – Unleashing the Savage Wit of Glee’s Iconic Coach

I’m gonna make those little band geeks cry bigger tears than when they got their wedgies from the bigger band geeks.

I’m allergic to weak-willed people. And cinnamon.

You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they’re going in another direction. That was hard.

There’s no stopping a woman who wears pumps instead of running shoes.

I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting.

This isn’t just a school. It’s a learning facility for future felons and perverts!

I come with an extensive black book of grudges. I am like George Clooney, only without the desirability factor.

You think this is hard? Try teaching a dyslexic how to play Wheel of Fortune.

My evil plot is to crush all the weaklings and fill their buckets with their tears.

I’m not a fan of nature. Every time I step outside, I have to go hunt down a litterbug and stab them with my hunting knife.

I have two weapons: my wit and my track record for ruthlessness.

I’m not a fan of overachievers. They’re the worst kind of show-offs.

I’m like the LeBron James of cheerleading. Everyone wants to be me, but they can’t even come close.

You know how many times I’ve wanted to wave a white flag in my life? Zero. I only wave my middle finger.

I don’t need the approval of others. I have my own cheering section in my head.

You can try to destroy me, but remember, I have an army of miniskirt-clad demons on my side.

I’m not afraid of commitment. I’m afraid of morons who think they can handle commitment.

I’m not a fan of hugs. They’re just an excuse for weaklings to invade your personal space.

I have zero tolerance for mediocrity. Mediocre people should be locked up in a room with a mirror, so they can see what they’re missing.

I’m like a tornado of sarcasm and wit. Don’t get caught in my path unless you’re prepared to be blown away.

I don’t need friends. I have enemies who keep me entertained.

I don’t believe in luck. I believe in hard work and a healthy dose of sneering at those who doubt me.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze them in the eyes of your enemies and watch them squirm.

I don’t suffer fools gladly. In fact, I don’t suffer them at all.

I don’t need a cape to be a superhero. My sharp tongue and ruthless determination are my secret powers.

I could be a motivational speaker, but I prefer to motivate people to run away from me.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you definitely can’t handle me at my best. And my best is pretty damn amazing.

I don’t need a throne to be a queen. I can rule the world from my leather recliner.

When life gives you obstacles, use them as stepping stones to crush your enemies.

I’m like a bulldozer in high heels. I may look pretty, but I can flatten anyone who gets in my way.

I’m not a fan of surprises. If I want to be surprised, I’ll watch a horror movie and see who dies first.

I don’t need luck. I create my own luck by outsmarting everyone else.

I have a PhD in intimidation and a master’s in manipulation. Don’t mess with the queen of mind games.

I don’t believe in second chances. People who screw up once are likely to screw up again.

I don’t need a crystal ball to see your future. It looks bleak and filled with regret.

I’m not a fan of hugs. They’re just an excuse for weaklings to invade your personal space.

I have zero tolerance for mediocrity. Mediocre people should be locked up in a room with a mirror, so they can see what they’re missing.

I’m like a tornado of sarcasm and wit. Don’t get caught in my path unless you’re prepared to be blown away.

I don’t need friends. I have enemies who keep me entertained.

I don’t believe in luck. I believe in hard work and a healthy dose of sneering at those who doubt me.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze them in the eyes of your enemies and watch them squirm.

I don’t suffer fools gladly. In fact, I don’t suffer them at all.

I don’t need a cape to be a superhero. My sharp tongue and ruthless determination are my secret powers.

I’m not a fan of surprises. If I want to be surprised, I’ll watch a horror movie and see who dies first.

I don’t need luck. I create my own luck by outsmarting everyone else.

I have a PhD in intimidation and a master’s in manipulation. Don’t mess with the queen of mind games.

I don’t believe in second chances. People who screw up once are likely to screw up again.

I don’t need a crystal ball to see your future. It looks bleak and filled with regret.

I’m not interested in being a role model. I’m interested in being a nightmare.

I don’t need a cheerleading squad. I’m perfectly capable of cheering for myself.