South Park Quotes

Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

Screw you guys, I’m going home.

You know, I learned something today…

Respect my authoritah!

I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!

You bastards!

It’s a Jersey thing.

I’m a little bit country, and I’m a little bit rock and roll.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m gonna go stand along the side of the police on this one.

I didn’t even know what I expected.

There’s a time and place for everything, and it’s called college.

We must blame them and cause a fuss before somebody thinks of blaming us!

Oh, hamburgers!

Sometimes, if you want to succeed, you have to do whatever it takes, no matter how unethical.

You can’t come to my birthday party, because you’re a piece of crap!

I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.

Ah, the joys of being a parent – dodging imaginary bullets all day!

I broke the dam!

I’m sorry, I can’t do any tricks. But I’m not a spoon, remember?

I can’t fix stupid, But I can muffle it with Duct Tape.

If you don’t believe in Jesus, you’re going to Hell.

Just because something is imaginary doesn’t make it not real.

Oh, I get it now. Because she’s black, she’s automatically a bitch, right?

Just remember, there’s a little bit of Eric Cartman in all of us.

Don’t blame me, I voted for Kanye.

Well, there’s nothing that says Christmas more than assaulting people with a weapon.

Do you know what I am saying?

They took our jobs!

I can’t die, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow!

I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist who’s scared all the time.

I’m not fat, I’m festively plump!

I’m a visionary, but I’m also above that sort of thing.

I would never let a woman kick my *ss. If she tried something, I’d be like, hey, you get your *ss back in the kitchen and make me some pie!

You know, I learned something today. People who wear Bluetooth headsets in public look like douchebags.

When all hope is lost, there is only one option. Call on the power of the Jews!

Ma’am, Jewish people don’t need any more cars.

I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can numb it with a 2x

There is no such thing as a perfect vagina!

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a margarita.

You know, it’s easy to criticize something you don’t understand.

Sometimes, having a breakdown is the best part of your day.

I’m sorry, Wendy, but I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.

You know why, Wynonna Judd? Because this is America. And in America, you get murdered by guns. Welcome to America!

Well, I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a f@(*iing fa**@t who can’t ski.

God dammit, you boys get your clothes on and get out of here!

I’ve learned something today that I think we all knew deep down, but sometimes we forget. And it’s that we have to remember to be ourselves.

You’re just a little bit hotter, that’s all.

Wow, there sure are a lot of douches in this town.

I only cry when angels deserve to die.