Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes

Dream big, so you can be disappointed on a grand scale.

The only thing that’s guaranteed in life is disappointment and taxes.

Believe in yourself, because no one else will.

Life is like a rollercoaster – and not the fun kind.

Success is just failure that hasn’t happened yet.

Why aim for the stars when you can settle for mediocrity?

Opportunity knocks, but don’t bother answering. It’s probably just a telemarketer.

Hard work pays off… for someone else.

Life is what happens when you’re too busy making plans that will never come true.

Don’t worry if you fail, it’s just practice for future failures.

There are two types of people in this world: those who fail and those who fail with style.

Don’t strive for perfection. It’s overrated.

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

Life is full of possibilities, but most of them are disappointing.

Believe in yourself, even if no one else does. It won’t make a difference.

Positive thinking won’t solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth it.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But let’s be honest, you probably would have missed them anyway.

Find joy in the little things, because the big things are too expensive.

Don’t follow your dreams, they’re probably lost and don’t have GPS.

Happiness is a state of mind, and my mind is permanently stuck on ‘bummer’.

You’re a unique and special snowflake… just like everyone else.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then someone will probably find a hair in it.

Success is fleeting, but failure lingers on and on and on…

Keep your head up and your expectations low, that way disappointment never surprises you.

If you believe in yourself, you’re probably delusional.

The road to success is paved with potholes, detours, and toll booths.

Life is a game, and I’m losing spectacularly.

Opportunity knocks once, but it’s probably at the wrong door anyway.

Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle… or your lack of ambition.

The only thing standing between you and success is everything.

Keep calm and carry on… being disappointed.

Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you’ll end up in space where no one can hear you fail.

The key to success is low expectations and a lack of motivation.

Failure is just success dressed in disappointment’s clothing.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday’s failures.

Believe in yourself, even when it’s painfully obvious that you shouldn’t.

Life is like a box of chocolates, full of empty calories and regrets.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Trust me, you can’t.

If you can dream it, you’re probably not being realistic enough.

Success is like a distant dream – always out of reach, and occasionally a nightmare.

Don’t worry about failure, it’s pretty much a given at this point.

Life is about finding the key to happiness. Too bad it’s hidden in a maze of disappointment and bad decisions.

Believe in yourself, even when everyone else is shaking their heads in disbelief.

Failure is just success trying to get your attention… and failing.

Happiness is just a state of being delusional about life’s disappointments.

Follow your dreams, but be aware that they might lead to a dead end.

The secret to happiness is low expectations and a strong sense of sarcasm.

Don’t wait for your ship to come in – especially if it’s already sunk.

You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and more likely to fail than you think.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent – but they can try their darned best.