Sarcastic and Funny Sayings: The Perfect Choice for Quirky Signs

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Enter at your own risk, sanity not guaranteed

People think I’m sarcastic? I prefer to say creatively harsh.

Much like garbage in a trash can? I refuse to take your crap

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Warning: My sense of humor might hurt your feelings!

You read my sign. That’s enough social interaction for one day.

I was having a good day, and then you showed up.

Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

Yes, I walked into a door, but you should see the door.

Apparently, screaming Who’s sorry now?! makes vacuum cleaning very scary.

Welcome to the circus, don?t feed the clowns.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy saving mode.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving’s not for you!

Sarcasm: because beating the crap outta people is illegal.

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Welcome! Bring beer and make it quick.

Do Not Disturb. Genius at Work.

Sarcasm: the language that confuses idiots.

Yes, I am crazy. Normal is boring for me.

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

Why be moody when you can shake your booty?

I?m not clumsy, it?s just the floor hates me.

My door’s always open – mostly because I can’t figure out how to close it.

Walk a mile in my shoes, then we can talk about blisters.

I?ve got my sassy pants on today.

If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.

I’m smiling. That should really scare you.

Not all who wander are lost… some of us just misplaced our coffee.

It?s okay if you don?t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.

I’m not bossy, I just have leadership skills you haven?t discovered yet.

I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

I’m not sarcastic, I’m just mean in a funny way.

Tact is for people who aren?t witty enough to use sarcasm.

I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.

In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop.

I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.

Sorry for what I said when I was hungry.

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.

Due to the shortage of robots, humans are still needed.

This must be the place people warned me about.

Do not disturb, already disturbed.

Remember, in case of emergency, exit building before tweeting about it.

If you can read this, you’re in range.

Trespassers will be offered a free trip to the dog pound.

In an effort to save on energy costs, we have turned off the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good things come to those who wait, but faster yet to those who get up and get going!

Normal is an illusion? Next door is for rent!

If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not large enough. Keep going.

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics.

Caution! Free range children left unsupervised in vicinity.

Our wi-fi password is… BuyADrinkFirst.

There?s no need for an alarm system when you?re always awake.

Think green! Or whatever color you believe your thoughts are.

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for bad hunter.

Beware of the dog. He?s smarter than you, cuter than you, and he?s right behind you.

Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it.

If at first you don’t succeed… then skydiving is not for you!

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