Rachel Green Quotes

I’m a shoe, I have no feelings, and I cannot be held responsible for my actions!

No uterus, no opinion!

I did not come all this way to tell this man that I love him and not hear him say that he loves me back…

I’m a horrible person. I belong in hell. Hey, you think it’s hot down there?

Monica and Chandler are living together, and there’s nothing you can do about it!

I’m hopeless and awkward, and desperate for love!

Why must everyone be so needy when I’m in crisis?

I’m Rachel, I have as much hot gossip as anyone.

Phoebe, your love for animals is truly disturbing!

Ross, you had me at ‘Ooh!’

It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First, there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, and then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!

Did you know that Joey is having a baby?

I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me!

Guys, I just want you to know that I think it’s really great that you guys are going out and everything but I’m still on the going out side of things. Just in case the going out part doesn’t work out!

Almost every item of clothing that was ever taken off of me ended up on the floor!

Oh, are we setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

Ooh, aren’t we just a little ray of sunshine?

It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship.

I just grabbed the wrong jacket, and this is somebody else’s fur. I now have five women mad at me!

Listen to me. Go upstairs, put on one of those little nighties that you’ve been keeping from me, come back down here, and we’ll talk about it.

Why yes Ross, pressing my breasts against my sister’s window is exactly the image I want to project on a first date!

Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were going to have a little coffee talk. Meanwhile, it’s the Mayor of Crazytown!

So you think that having a lame job and cheaters for friends is better than having a successful husband?

I am not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after they break up!

No way! I have to work late. You know, I don’t know if I can make it at all.

Are we having a parade?

It’s a girl fish, and you named her Yasmine?

Maybe she just lost her eyebrows over the summer!

Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

You can always come live with us. You’d be Aunt Rachel to our kid. It would be great!

Oh look, Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree! Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls!

It tastes like feet!

I can’t believe I said ‘I love you’! I cannot believe I freaked out. I’ve got to stay mad at him.

I must say, I can’t stop staring at Jo-ey’s big Q-tip.

But we were on a break!

I’m very happy with the guy I’m seeing. I’m just trying to make sure there’s nothing better out there.

No, no, no. It’s not that they’re too small, okay? It’s just that they’re looser than normal.

I cannot be a waitress. I’m a terrible waitress! Didn’t you see me as a waitress?

Oh. I love how you don’t see my name on there.

Mmm, salmon skin roll—my favorite. So, did you want me to get that, or…?

Oh, yeah, of course. Otherwise if we miss some hair, we’ll look like a little boy.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!

And I just want a million dollars!

Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve grabbed a spoon?… No, wait, I’m not done. And I love to watch you eat.

Does she think we don’t know what a cheerleader is?

Come on, Daddy, give her the Tonka truck! Give her the Tonka truck!

Ooh, Monica! Big day, big day, big day, big day!

Where’s my macchiato? Do I have to wait for the ceiling to collapse?

You throw one grape at a funeral and it goes all around town!

Do we really need to make all our clothes? I mean, we don’t make our own toilet paper!