Quotes from Jay and Silent Bob

I’m Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate, Silent Bob.

Chronic what? Cles of Narnia?

Snoochie boochies!

There’s no such thing as a happy ending, it’s all just a bunch of crap.

I’m the master of the Doobie Brothers.

I’m like the blonde chick in every horror movie, when she asks ‘is anybody there?’ I’m always there.

You can’t rush art.

The faster ya’ get it, the faster it’s gone.

There’s only one Return, okay? And it ain’t of the King, it’s of the Jedi.

People only make fun of what they’re afraid of.

Hey, baby, you ever had your a**hole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

You know what they call movies that cost 49.95 to rent? Porn.

Excuse me, folks. My bladder’s full, where’s the restroom?

Shut your pie-hole!

This is the guy who sucked 37 d***s?

Sometimes you just gotta let those hard to reach dreams go.

I don’t know about you, but when they take away free a**… well I’m just not interested.

The world is my playground, and I’m the slide.

They blew up the stage… killing all the innocent people in the audience! Who’s gonna pay for that? I’ll tell you: the taxpayers!

You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can by its first few chapters and certainly by its last.

The Dude abides.

You know, there’s a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.

I’m not even supposed to be here today!

Electronic surveillance is a pet peeve of mine.

You know what they say, Mr. Frodo: ‘It’s a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.’

I am the Batman. This is my utility belt.

I feel like a little girl waking up on Christmas morning.

What’s a nubian?

Look, I know the supernatural is something that isn’t supposed to happen, but it does happen.

The world is full of miracles, but for most people, they go unnoticed.

It’s funny how you haven’t uttered a word in years, but you’re the only person I can have a conversation with.

If you goin’ fishin’, you best have some bait.

It’s no harder to tell a hard truth to someone who loves you than it is to cut a diamond with another diamond.

All we really want is to be heard.

There’s always money in the banana stand.

Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.

I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

Do not mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness.

The best revenge is to live a successful, happy life.

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.

I’m not trash, I’m street treasure!

The only way to do great work is to love what you do.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

When nothing goes right, go left.

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.