Drink responsibly, but laugh irresponsibly.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria.
Life is too short to not have a glass of wine or two.
Drink like a fish, swim like a dolphin.
I may be drunk, but I know I’m fabulous.
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
I only drink on days that end in Y.
A good cocktail is like a hug for the soul.
A glass of champagne a day keeps the doctor away.
Drink champagne for no reason, and celebrate it for every reason.
Wine is my love language.
Cocktails may not solve your problems, but they sure make them more tolerable.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
If life gives you lemons, add vodka and have a party.
Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither does milk.
Drink from the fountain of youth… through a straw.
I like my coffee like I like my cocktails – strong and full of charisma.
We don’t have a drinking problem, we have a pouring solution.
I don’t need a therapist, I just need a margarita.
Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional drinker.
I don’t always drink, but when I do, it’s like a boss.
Drinking is not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.
In a perfect world, every morning would begin with a mimosa.
I run on coffee, sarcasm, and vodka.
Good friends don’t let you drink alone.
Great minds drink alike.
A party without drinks is just a meeting.
I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.
It’s always happy hour somewhere.
Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink wine.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Coffee, because adulting is hard.
I need a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of whiskey.
I drink to make bad decisions more memorable.
I’m not drunk, I’m just drinking creatively.
In coffee we trust.
Drinking is like a form of poetry – it has a beginning, a middle, and no end.
It’s not a miracle, it’s just coffee.
I don’t need a knight in shining armor, I need a bartender with a glass of wine.
I tried taking life with coffee, but I found it goes better with wine.
Sometimes you’re the wine, sometimes you’re the cork.
Life’s too short to drink cheap wine.
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