Phil Dunphy’s Most Memorable Quotes

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, ‘What?!’

The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.

I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger.

Always look people in the eye. Even if they’re blind. Just say, ‘I’m looking you in the eye.’

Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.

Older black ladies make the best iced tea.

Take a lesson from parakeets: If you’re ever feeling lonely, just eat in front of a mirror.

If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.

Don’t be a yes man. Sometimes you gotta nope it up.

Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.

There’s no such thing as a VIP? In Phil’s world, we’re all very important people.

Never be afraid to reach for the stars, because even if you fall, you’ll always be wearing a parent-chute.

Two wrongs? Probably make another wrong.

Phil’s-osophy: Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt.

The minute they stop flying someone else’s colors is when they can truly raise their own.

It’s not about being less of a man; it’s about being a better person.

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, ‘What?’

I’m a cool dad. That’s my thang.

I’m the cool dad, that’s my thing. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text.

The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger.

Every day above ground is a win.

I may not be the toughest guy in the world, but I am the toughest one you’re married to.

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

People like being lied to. They don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to.

Why do I have to watch a French movie? I didn’t do anything wrong.

Old people are not scary. They’re just people who have been on Earth a little longer.

The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.

Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt.

Real men love cats.

A Realtor’s just a ninja in a blazer.

I’m like a business ninja. Silent but deadly.

You can’t have two fun parents.

Why do I have to watch a French movie? I didn?t do anything wrong.

I’m cool dad, that’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face.

Life is full of changes. One day we?re happy, the next, we’re sad. One day we’re lonely, the next, we’re in love.

I?m the cool dad, that?s my thing. I?m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face.

Every realtor is just a ninja in a blazer.

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like ?what?!’

I could start my own civilization with my own language. The word for ?hello? would be ?blarnk? and for ?goodbye? it would be ?blarnk.?

The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.

A Realtor’s just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I?m completely clueless.

If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.

I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.

I?m like a chameleon, always a classic.

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Always look people in the eye, even if they’re blind. Just say, ‘I’m looking you in the eye.’

Act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it ?peerenting.?

I’ve got a lot of cool dad jokes. Stubbed your toe? Don’t feel bad, they’re already looking for the ‘toe truck’.