Monty Python Quotes: Hilarious and Iconic Lines from the Comedy Legends

Always look on the bright side of life.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

It’s just a flesh wound.

I fart in your general direction.

We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’

I’m not dead yet!

She turned me into a newt…well, I got better.

And now for something completely different.

Bring out your dead!

We are no longer the Knights who say ‘Ni!’ We are now the Knights who say ‘Ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!’

I am the king of the Britons.

I’m Brian, and so’s my wife.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

I’d like to have an argument, please.

Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you!

He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, and spam.

I never wanted to be a barber anyway.

Is this the right room for an argument?

Stop that, it’s silly!

I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay, I sleep all night and I work all day.

I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid.

Yes, let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.

And what have the Romans ever done for us?

Blessed are the cheese makers.

This is an ex-parrot!

We’ve got both kinds of music, country and western.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

I’m French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent?

Do you want to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy!

It’s a quest! It’s a quest!

The Knights Who Say ‘Ni’ have a shrubbery!

I’m terribly sorry about this, I’ll never do it ever again, or at least until I’m caught.

She’s got huge… tracts of land!

We are the People’s Front of Judea!

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

And now for something completely different… a man with three buttocks.

A shrubbery! You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… with a herring!

What’s the use of having a trade if you can’t stand up and say, ‘I’m a Lumberjack and I’m Okay’?

One day, lad, all this will be yours. What, the curtains?

Do you wanna come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy?

I’m being repressed!

I’m not a witch, I’m not a witch!

This isn’t a reunion, it’s a group therapy session!

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!

It’s just like those miserable psalms. They’re so depressing.

They’ve bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had.

Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits.

The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.