Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes

It’s just a flesh wound!

I fart in your general direction!

Tis but a scratch.

We are the Knights who say ‘Ni!’

It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios!

We want… a shrubbery!

I’m not dead yet!

She looks like one.

I have a plan, sir! An ingenious plan!

I’m being repressed!

What is your quest?

On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.

It’s a bit runny.

I’ll bite your legs off!

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!

Well, you’re not allowed to eat it.

I’m French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?

I’ll see you in hell before I do that.

Well I can’t just call you ‘man’.

Camelot! It’s only a model.

What’s this then? ‘Romanes eunt domus’? People called Romanes, they go, the house?

It’s a Man’s Life in Medieval Times

Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a terribly wicked person!

Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Well, it’s no ordinary rabbit! That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes part 2

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t realize you were invalids.

Run away! Run away!

Sir Lancelot the Brave…

A spanking! A spanking!

You only killed the bride’s father, you know.

I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!

I’ve found a witch! May we burn her?

Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!

You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… with… a herring!

It’s just a model.

Right! This calls for a cunning plan.

Be quiet!

If she weighs the same as a duck… she’s made of wood.

How do you know she’s a witch?

I’m not dead! I’m getting better!

One day, lad, all this will be yours.

We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.

Look, my liege!

You tit!

I’m

I’m not old.

Come and see the violence inherent in the system.

Arthur, King of the Britons, your knights are not dead. They’re just resting!