Memorable Home Alone Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal!

Look what you did, you little jerk!

I made my family disappear.

Buzz, your girlfriend… woof!

Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

I’m an 8-year-old kid. You think you can scare me?

I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.

You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

This is my house; I have to defend it!

I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

I don’t want to see you again for the rest of my whole life… and I don’t want to see anybody else either!

You’re what the French call ‘les incompetents’.

Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?

This is my calling, this is what I’m here for.

Families are sweaty, loud, and intrusive. And they’re yours for life.

Someone needs to crawl under a rock.

If I have to sell my soul to the devil himself or some everyone-do-nothing kid like you, this is what I’m willing to do.

I’d go out and find a delicate balance.

I know a lot of people are angry with me right now.

You could have killed somebody.

Just because you’re a girl, doesn’t mean you can’t handle yourself.”

I don’t care if it’s Santa Claus himself up there.”

No offense, but that seems like a stupid thing to do.”

I’m not afraid anymore!

Les incompetents.

Nobody here is listening to my suggestions.

I don’t want to be a traitor to my family.

Gangster movies are your thing? Alright, I’ll give you the message.

This house is so full of people it makes me sick!

You know, Kevin, you’re what the French call ‘les incompetents’.

Buzz, I’m gonna rip out your innards and kick ’em up and down the field!

Merry Christmas! Ha!

Two scoops make me hyper.

Put it in there and leave it.

You’re a disease, and I’m the cure.

First, I’ll strip ya, bucknaked…and then I’ll spank ya silly.

I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.

Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.

This is it. Don’t get scared now.

You want to come back in, have a nice life.

Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?

I wish they would all just disappear!

A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.

Maybe he went to the store to get some more… onions.

When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone!

Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi!

We’re very sorry. Useless…but sorry.

Do you know how to French kiss?

Harry, I have a plan.

I’m going to give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead!