If you’re going to be sad, you might as well be sad and pathetic.
I’m allergic to feelings.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And that’s pretty much the same thing.
I refuse to participate in any activity that requires pants.
I don’t have dreams, I have goals. Goals with a side of fries.
Never underestimate the power of a well-placed insult.
I may be small, but I have big plans.
Girls just wanna have funds.
Life is too short to eat mediocre candy.
If you want something done right, don’t ask me.
The world is full of idiots. Be the exception.
My brain is 80% sarcasm.
I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
I have no time for fools, unless they entertain me.
I have a black belt in sass.
I’m not a genius, I’m just smarter than everyone else.
I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.
I may be a princess, but I’m also a badass.
I always go the extra mile. It’s less crowded there.
Sleep is for the weak, and I am strong.
I don’t need your validation, I have Netflix.
I don’t break the rules, I make my own.
I may be small, but my attitude is extra large.
Sorry, I can’t adult today.
I believe in two things: unicorns and myself.
I’m not responsible for what comes out of my mouth. It has a mind of its own.
I don’t suffer fools gladly. Or, you know, at all.
I’m not a role model. I’m a cautionary tale.
Haters gonna hate, but I’m gonna ignore them and eat some pizza.
I would like to apologize to anyone I haven’t offended yet. Please be patient, I’ll get to you shortly.
I’m not a princess, I’m a queen-in-training.
I don’t need luck. Luck needs me.
I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on sarcasm.
I may be sweet, but I pack a mean punchline.
I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
Why be normal when you can be unique?
I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I’ll take a dragon any day.
I may be small, but my ideas are larger than life.
Life is too short for boring outfits.
I am the ruler of my own destiny.
I’m not afraid of anything except running out of peanut butter.
I don’t do average. I do amazing.
I have the attitude of a winner and the heart of a rebel.
I’m not a follower, I’m a leader with questionable judgment.
I don’t strive for perfection, I strive for awesomeness.
I don’t need to be saved. I’ll save myself, thank you very much.
I don’t need a superhero. I am the superhero.
I don’t wear a cape, but I’m still a superhero in disguise.
I’m not a social butterfly, I’m a social piranha.
I am a force to be reckoned with, so don’t test me.
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