Liar Liar Quotes: A Compilation of Memorable Lines

The pen is blue. The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is BLUE!

The truth shall set you free.

For God’s Sake, would somebody please tell me what the hell is the matter with you people?!

Then, I got to the office early and I faxed. So, technically, I was already working.

I can’t lie! If I could lie, I would be having sex right now!

New in town? No. I’m just here for the liars’ convention.

How can it be illegal to withdraw your own money from your own account?

So what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!

I proved the law wrong. Do you have any idea what the fine is for masturbating on an airplane?

You knocked him out. For a few seconds there, you were the dominant one.

Would I lie to you? Generally, yes.

I’m kickin’ my ass, do ya mind?!

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

I hold myself in contempt!

Stop breaking the law, asshole!

The color of the pen that I hold in my hand is rrrrroyal blue!

The truth shall set you free!

I’ve had better?


Mr. Reede, do you think my kids are proud of me?

I am a bad father… I mean there is just no way around it. I’m the Anti-Father.

For God’s sake, it’s a visual medium!

Yes. In the office! In my office! I really think you need some counseling to why you’re lying.

Stop cackling! You sound like a hen house!

I?m kicking my own ass, do you mind?!

Sure, I’ve peeked.

Was it good for you? I had sex!

I’m the biggest jerk in the world.

Are you asking me for my permission to break the law?

Hiya mister!…He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife-point.

Your honor, I object!

Well, what do you think of my performance?

The truth shall set you free.

Your credibility is like butter in a hot pan.

Lies are like matches, you know, they can burn you.

Look and listen before you leap to lies.

I am a bad liar, but a great lawyer.

Stop spreading lies like wildfire.

I would rather be known in life as an honest sinner than a lying hypocrite.

Lies have speed, but truth has endurance.

Your lies are bullets, your mouth is the gun.

Lies are a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

Stop being a thermometer and start being a thermostat.

A half truth is a whole lie.

Behind every liar is a thief.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Lying lips are abomination to the Lord.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Better to be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.

The lie is a condition of life.

Lying only makes things worse, not better.

Lying lips hide an evil heart.

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