Jim Lahey Quotes – Unforgettable Words from the Trailer Park Supervisor

The liquor’s calling the shots now, Randy.

I am the liquor!

I live in a world of shit, and piss, and empties.

The winds of shit are blowin’, Randy.

I am the liquor and I’m stayin’ that way!

I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing, but still drunk enough to really enjoy it.

The liquor’s making me smarter, Randy.

Randy, I am the liquor and I make the plans now.

The liquor never lies, Randy.

I’m not the kind of guy who’s gonna blame anybody unless they fuck up.

The liquor’s gonna decide, Randy.

I’m just a simple man with a drink in my hand.

The liquor’s flowin’ and the winds of shit are blowin’.

Randy, I’m like a greasy fucking cheeseburger, I’ll always be with you.

Fuck off, Randy!

The liquor’s in control now, Randy.

I’m not drunk, I’m just drunk enough.

The liquor never lets me down, Randy.

I’m the liquor, Randy, and the liquor’s always right.

Why don’t you go back to your little turnip garden, Julian?

The liquor’s the only thing that understands me, Randy.

I’m a man of my word, Randy. And my word is the only thing I got left.

The liquor’s my life, Randy. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

I’m not a drunk, I’m a professional drinker.

The liquor’s my lover and I’m married to the bottle.

Why don’t you go fly a kite, Julian?

The liquor makes everything better, Randy.

I’m just a simple man, living a complicated drunk life.

The liquor’s a warm, comforting embrace, Randy.

I’m not a quitter, I’m just taking a break from winning.

The liquor’s the only thing that gives my life purpose, Randy.

I’m not a drunk, I’m a connoisseur of fine intoxication.

The liquor’s the answer to all of life’s questions, Randy.

I’m not a loser, I’m just temporarily not winning.

The liquor’s the only friend who’s never let me down, Randy.

I’m not crazy, Randy, I’m just uniquely drunk.

The liquor’s the only truth in this world, Randy.

I’m not a crybaby, I’m just a drunk who knows what he wants.

The liquor’s my therapist, Randy. It listens without judgment.

I’m not a failure, I’m just taking a prolonged victory lap.

The liquor’s the fuel that keeps my engine running, Randy.

I’m not a slob, I just have an unconventional approach to cleanliness.

The liquor’s the only thing that keeps me sane, Randy.

I’m not a fool, I just make decisions through a different lens.

The liquor’s the only thing that understands my pain, Randy.

I’m not a loser, I’m just on a different path to success.

The liquor’s the only thing that makes this world bearable, Randy.

I’m not a quitter, I’m just taking the scenic route to victory.

The liquor’s the only constant in my ever-changing life, Randy.

I’m not a mess, I’m just a work in progress fueled by the liquor.