D’oh!
Mmm… donuts.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
I’m the king of the world!
What is life? Just a bunch of experiences leading to the grave.
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
I’m not a bad dad. I’m a great dad… and maybe a bad husband… and perhaps a terrible son-in-law.
When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
If something is hard to do, then it’s not worth doing!
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how drunk you get.
I’m not a bad guy. I work hard, and I love my family.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Unless you’re a goalie, then you miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.
I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!
The only thing that could turn me into a lion is some kind of science experiment gone wrong.
If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing!
Don’t worry, Marge. I’m only halfway through my life. I’m like a third of the way through my life.
If you want to find out who’s a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time… Then see who sticks around.
Trying is the first step towards failure.
I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how drunk you get.
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.
I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!
I’m not a bad dad. I’m a great dad… and maybe a bad husband… and perhaps a terrible son-in-law.
Don’t worry, Marge. I’m only halfway through my life. I’m like a third of the way through my life.
If something is hard to do, then it’s not worth doing!
Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
What is life? Just a bunch of experiences leading to the grave.
I’m the king of the world!
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.
When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
If something is hard to do, then it’s not worth doing!
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Unless you’re a goalie, then you miss 100% of the shots you do take.
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.
I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!
The only thing that could turn me into a lion is some kind of science experiment gone wrong.
If you want to find out who’s a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time… Then see who sticks around.
Trying is the first step towards failure.
I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
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