Get a Giggle with Short and Funny Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine, but I didn’t go to medical school.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she hugged me.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.’

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange the floor’s layout.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when it really matters.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

I wear glasses because without them, I can’t see the humor in life.

Get a Giggle with Short and Funny Quotes part 2

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

I accidentally bumped into my ex today; with my car… Oops!

If there is a will, there are five hundred relatives.

I took up jogging for my health, but all I seem to do is run out of breath.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

I accidentally bumped into my ex today; with my car… Oops!

If there is a will, there are five hundred relatives.

I took up jogging for my health, but all I seem to do is run out of breath.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange the floor’s layout.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for when it really matters.

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

I wear glasses because without them, I can’t see the humor in life.

Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.’

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.