Garrison Keillor Quotes – A Glimpse into the Wit and Wisdom of the Master Storyteller

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

The funniest people are the saddest ones.

There is a certain strength in being alone.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, ‘You can’t say that.’

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

The most important thing is to write.

I never ask my wife to make the bed, but she always gets mad at me when I don’t.

Church is a good place to come to, to take a break from all the yelling.

Life is a struggle, but it’s worth it because you get to eat cookies.

A world covered with cats would be a beautiful place to live.

Garrison Keillor Quotes – A Glimpse into the Wit and Wisdom of the Master Storyteller part 2

To think of the world in purely black and white terms is to live in a very dull world.

If you approach the world with the apron of a servant, then you are allowed places that you can’t go if you approach it with the crown of a king.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

We’re lucky. We’re not smart.

I’m not busy – a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn’t think my schedule looked so empty.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, ‘You can’t say that.’

Humor has to surprise us, otherwise, it isn’t funny.

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.

I’m not busy – a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn’t think my schedule looked so empty.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Lake Wobegon, the town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

To think of the world in purely black and white terms is to live in a very dull world.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

We’re lucky. We’re not smart.

Humor has to surprise us, otherwise, it isn’t funny.

Life is a struggle, but it’s worth it because you get to eat cookies.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, ‘You can’t say that.’

Life is a struggle, but it’s worth it because you get to eat cookies.

I never ask my wife to make the bed, but she always gets mad at me when I don’t.

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it, you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

To think of the world in purely black and white terms is to live in a very dull world.

Humor has to surprise us, otherwise, it isn’t funny.