Funny You Owe Me Money Quotes

I’ll accept IOUs, but only if they’re written in glitter pen on unicorn stationary.

You owe me so much money, I’m considering renting you a room in my wallet.

I’m like a credit card, but with sarcasm and interest.

You’re lucky I don’t charge a fee for being your friend, because you’d be broke.

I’m going to start charging rent for all the space you take up in my thoughts.

I should open a collection agency just for all the money you owe me.

If I had a dollar for every time you owed me money, I’d be a billionaire.

I’m thinking of starting a tab for all the times you’ve borrowed from me.

If I had a penny for every cent you owe me, I’d have a whole nickel.

You owe me more money than the national debt, and I expect interest.

I’m considering hiring a debt collector to follow you around.

I’ve decided to set up a payment plan for you, and it involves you owing me forever.

You should really consider joining my ‘Borrowers Anonymous’ support group.

I think I’ll start charging admission to be in my presence, since you owe me so much.

I could have bought a small island with all the money you owe me.

I’m considering writing a book called ‘101 Excuses for Why You Haven’t Paid Me Back.’

I’m starting to think you’re in the business of borrowing and never returning.

I’ve stopped lending money to you, but I’m open to accepting gifts instead.

You owe me so much, I’m considering adding ‘banker’ to my resume.

I’m seriously thinking of becoming a bill collector just to chase you down for payment.

If I had a dollar for every time you ‘forgot’ to pay me back, I’d be a millionaire.

I’m considering sending you an invoice for all the emotional distress of waiting to be repaid.

I loaned you some money, and now I’m considering suing for breach of friendship.

You owe me so much, it’s like you’ve invested in shares of my bank account.

You should consider taking lessons on financial responsibility from a talking piggy bank.

I’m starting to think you went to Hogwarts because you’re a master at disappearing with my money.

I’m like your personal ATM, but with a sassy attitude and no cash available.

I’m considering turning into a loan shark to put some pressure on you to pay up.

I should put a lien on your soul for all the money you owe me.

I’m thinking of buying a lottery ticket, because maybe that’s the only way I’ll ever see my money again.

I gave you a loan, but I didn’t sign up to be your personal bank.

If good friends loan money, great friends pay it back.

I’m starting to think you’re allergic to repaying debts.

Being friends with you is like having a second job, except I don’t get paid.

I’m considering hiring a private investigator to find all the money you’ve hidden from me.

I’ve officially stopped checking my bank account, because it’s just a reminder of how much you owe me.

I’ve started charging a deposit fee just to have a conversation with you.

You’re like a human piggy bank that never pays out.

I think I’ll start selling ‘I Owe You’ coupons with your face on them.

You have the ability to turn friendship into a never-ending debt.

I’ve decided to start a reality show called ‘Keeping Up with My Debtor Friend.’

I should have asked for collateral when I loaned you money, like your dignity.

I’m considering writing a book called ‘How to Deal with Friends Who Owe You Money.’

I’m thinking of opening a financial advice hotline just for you.

You should consider opening a savings account, because you clearly don’t know how to save.

I’m considering becoming a stand-up comedian just to make jokes about your debt.

I’ve decided to start charging a reflection fee for all the time you spend basking in my awesomeness.

I’m seriously thinking of starting a YouTube channel to document our never-ending financial saga.

You owe me so much money, I’m considering starting a crowdfunding campaign.

I’m thinking of writing you a musical about all the money you owe me, with a catchy soundtrack to remind you daily.

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