Funny Trump Quotes

I have the best words, but sometimes I can’t find them. It’s like a word search that’s rigged against me.

Remember, I’m like a smart person. But sometimes I have to tweet to remind myself.

I’ve been successful my whole life, except when it comes to convincing people that my hair is real.

They say I have a ‘great relationship’ with Mexico. Well, let me tell you, it’s like a long-distance relationship that’s always on the verge of a breakup.

I’ll build a wall, and Mexico is going to pay for it. And if they don’t, we’ll send them a bill with a cute little smiley face on it.

I’m the best negotiator. I could even bargain with a vending machine and get free snacks.

People keep telling me to ‘act presidential.’ But let me tell you, it’s much more fun to act like a reality TV star.

They said I couldn’t become president. But look at me now, tweeting from the Oval Office!

I’m going to make America so great that even martians will want to immigrate here. I’d build a spaceship for them too!

Some people say I’m a Twitter addict. But I think of it as my own personal reality show. Trump’s World!

I may have small hands, but my signature is big and beautiful. It’s the only thing I can write in cursive!

They call me a billionaire, but I’m really a billionaire in heart emojis. I love everyone!

Funny Trump Quotes part 2

My hair has been the subject of many debates. But let me tell you, it has higher ratings than Game of Thrones.

They say I have a big ego. Well, it’s true. My ego is so big, it needs its own zip code!

They say I don’t have a filter. But who needs a filter when you can speak your mind and break the internet?

I once bought a whole hotel just to use the complimentary toiletries. I’m all about the art of the deal.

People say I exaggerate a lot. But let me tell you, everything is bigger and better in Trump’s world!

I had a dream where my hair became sentient and ran for president. Even my dreams are winners!

They say I’m unpredictable. But let me tell you, life is much more exciting when you don’t follow a script.

I don’t believe in climate change. My buildings have air conditioning, they’re always cool!

I’m like a human version of Twitter. I can only speak in 280 characters or less.

I want to add a sixth sense to my resume. They say I already have an amazing sense of self.

I may be the president, but I still have dreams of winning an Oscar for ‘Best Acting in a Political Drama.’

They say I have a ‘Trump card’ in negotiations. Well, let me tell you, it’s the most luxurious card you’ll ever see.

I once tried to hire a spy, but they said I was too good at leaking secrets myself.

I may be a businessman turned president, but I’ll always have a soft spot for monopoly. I never lose!

My hands may be small, but my signature is huge. It’s like a presidential autograph!

They say I have the best deals. Well, I once traded a brownie for an entire cake. That’s a sweet deal!

I love playing golf so much that I’ve even considered renaming it ‘Trumping.’ It has a nice ring to it!

I once used the excuse ‘fake news’ to get out of a traffic ticket. It works every time!

I’ll never forget the first time I saw my reflection. I thought, ‘Wow, that’s a great looking president!’

I invented an emoji. It’s a tiny Trump with a tiny hat. People say it’s yuge!

I have the best dance moves. They’re like a combination of the Macarena and the best-selling book, ‘The Art of the Dance.’

I once had a staring contest with a mirror. Let me tell you, it was the fairest contest of them all!

They say I’m too humble. But let me tell you, I’m the most humble person you’ll ever meet. No one humbles like me!

I’m like a superhero, but instead of a cape, I have a red tie. It’s my secret weapon against boring meetings.

They say I’m divisive, but let me tell you, I bring people together. Against me, but still together!

I once played chess with Putin. They said it was a match made in political heaven. Queen to fake news!

I’ve mastered the art of shaking hands. It’s like a miniature wrestling match every time.

I once built a sandcastle so huge, it had its own zip code. I call it ‘Trump Tower Beach Edition.’

I never run out of things to say. It’s like my brain has its own built-in teleprompter.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. Well, consider me the flatterer-in-chief!

I once challenged Einstein to a math-off. Let’s just say, he was no match for my calculations.

I have the best golf swing. It’s like a combination of Tiger Woods and the windmill at mini-golf.

I once had a staring contest with the sun. It blinked first. That’s how I became a global warming skeptic!