Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

I’m thankful for elastic waistbands on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving calories don’t count, right?

The only thing getting stuffed on Thanksgiving is me.

Thanksgiving is the one day of the year where my diet is officially on vacation.

Turkey: the bird that taste better when you say ‘gobble gobble’ before eating it.

Thanksgiving is the time to strengthen the bond between my pants and the couch.

Thanksgiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself.

Thanksgiving: the official day to unbutton your pants and embrace the food baby.

My favorite Thanksgiving tradition? Falling into a food coma.

Thanksgiving is the one day I wish I had a bigger stomach.

Thanksgiving tip: wear an apron, not your skinny jeans.

Turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie – the holy trinity of Thanksgiving.

I’m thankful for elastic waistbands and the power of stretchy pants.

Thanksgiving is like a game of Jenga, but with leftovers.

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful for elastic waistbands and long naps.

The key to a successful Thanksgiving is a good sense of humor and a stretchy waistband.

Thanksgiving is the one day where I truly embrace my inner foodie.

Thanksgiving: the only day of the year where I remember to count my blessings…and calories.

Thanksgiving is the day my family cooks enough food to feed a small army. And we’re not complaining.

Thanksgiving: the day I shamelessly prioritize dessert over everything else.

Thanksgiving: the unofficial day of stretching, eating, and repeat.

Thanksgiving reminds me why I’m thankful for sweatpants and leggings.

Why watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when you can be the parade?

Thanksgiving: the day my pants become my best friend.

Thanksgiving is all about that baste-ic chemistry in the kitchen.

Thanksgiving: the day I give thanks for stretchy waistbands and turkey-induced naps.

Thanksgiving tip: leave room for pie. Always leave room for pie.

Thanksgiving is like the Super Bowl for my taste buds.

Thanksgiving is a time to indulge, be grateful, and embrace the stretchy pants.

Thanksgiving: the day we count carbs, not calories.

Thanksgiving: the one day where I don’t have to pretend to enjoy vegetables.

Thanksgiving is like Black Friday for my waistline.

Thanksgiving: the day I celebrate my love for all things buttery and carb-loaded.

Thanksgiving: the day I turn into a professional nap-taker.

Thanksgiving: the holiday where my family cancels their diets and goes all out.

Thanksgiving is the day I convince myself that exercise can wait until tomorrow.

Thanksgiving: the day I gracefully accept defeat in the battle against seconds (and thirds).

Thanksgiving is my Super Bowl. And by that, I mean my Super Bowl of mashed potatoes.

Thanksgiving: the day I swaddle myself in stretchy pants and bathe in gravy.

Thanksgiving: the day I eat like it’s my last meal on Earth.

Thanksgiving: the day I give thanks for elastic waistbands and food comas.

Why make resolutions in January when I can start my diet on the day after Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving: the day I give thanks for food, family, and stretchy pants.

Thanksgiving: the day I wonder why I wore jeans instead of pajama pants.

Thanksgiving is the one day where I can eat dessert as an appetizer.

Thanksgiving: the day I regret all my life choices… until dessert is served.

Thanksgiving is like a pie-eating contest with myself. And I always win.

Thanksgiving: the day I remind myself that calories are just imaginary numbers.

Thanksgiving is the holiday where my stretchy pants become my superhero cape.

Thanksgiving: the one day where my food baby is welcomed with open arms.

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