Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Make You Laugh

I’m thankful for elastic waistbands on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving: when my diet becomes just a ‘die’ with a ‘t’ on the end.

Thanksgiving: the one day a year where my family pretends to like each other.

Thanksgiving tip: wear loose clothing, bring stretchy pants, and have a backup plan for a food coma nap.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he’s not a chicken!

Thanksgiving is the only day where I’ll willingly eat vegetables smothered in cheese and topped with fried onions.

Thanksgiving is the time to be grateful for all the small things… like the number of people at the dinner table who can’t judge my dessert portions.

Thanksgiving: the day I eat so much that even my stretch marks have stretch marks.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up on all those calories I missed throughout the year.

Thanksgiving: the day where I have to pretend to like traditional holiday dishes that I don’t even know the name of.

Every family has that one relative who brings the most questionable dish to the Thanksgiving feast, and we are all secretly thankful when they stay home.

Thanksgiving is all about the three F’s: food, family, and forgetting how to button your pants.

Thanksgiving: the only day where I can eat a whole turkey and not feel judged.

Thanksgiving is like a warm-up for the holiday season. It’s all about endurance eating!

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Make You Laugh part 2

Thanksgiving: the day my grandma reveals her secret recipe for pie, which turns out to be ‘buy it from the store, take it out of the box.’

I like Thanksgiving because it’s the one day of the year when I don’t have to set an alarm to wake up early… I set one to remind myself to take a nap!

Thanksgiving: the time of year when I stock up on stretchy pants for the winter season of overeating.

Thanksgiving is the day when I put my stretchy pants on, so my future self can enjoy all the leftovers without regrets.

The main ingredient in all Thanksgiving dishes is love. And by ‘love,’ I mean butter.

My favorite Thanksgiving tradition is telling my family members that the turkey is actually tofu, just to see their horrified reactions.

Thanksgiving: the day when my mom tries to make healthy versions of everything, and we all try not to notice.

Let’s be honest, Thanksgiving is just a practice run for the ‘eat everything in sight’ event known as ‘Christmas dinner.’

My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the leftovers. It’s like a second chance to regret everything I ate the day before.

Thanksgiving is the day when we find out which family member is secretly a gourmet chef and which one shouldn’t be allowed near a kitchen.

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful for the fact that we can eat enough food to feed a small village and still complain about being hungry.

Thanksgiving is all about embracing food comas, stretchy pants, and pretending to listen to Uncle Bob’s stories for the hundredth time.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to practice my survival skills: maneuvering through crowded aisles at the grocery store and avoiding political debates at the dinner table.

The best part about Thanksgiving is that it gives me an excuse to eat pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s all about balance, right?

Why do turkeys never join Thanksgiving football games? They’re afraid of being stuffed.

Thanksgiving is the day when I prove to my family that I’m still capable of eating a whole pie by myself.

On Thanksgiving, I’m always thankful for the mute button on the TV remote when the holiday parades start playing.

Thanksgiving is the day when my cooking skills magically transform from ‘burnt toast’ to ‘gourmet chef.’

Thanksgiving: the day when my siblings and I form an alliance to conquer the dessert table and declare it our territory.

Thanksgiving tip: You can burn off all those calories by power-walking through the Black Friday sales.

Thanksgiving is the best time to practice your acting skills and pretend to enjoy your aunt’s weird side dishes.

Thanksgiving is the day I thank Netflix for providing post-meal entertainment while I lie on the couch and regret my life choices.

Thanksgiving: the only day when pumpkin spice invades every aspect of our lives, from candles to lattes to even the bathroom air fresheners.

Thanksgiving dinner: the ultimate test of sibling rivalry to see who can get the biggest slice of pie.

Thanksgiving: the only time when you can openly talk about how much you ate without judgment, because everyone else is in a food coma too.

Thanksgiving is the day I get to show off my impressive talent of eating an entire turkey leg like a caveman.

Thanksgiving is the time for awkward conversations with distant relatives, followed by awkward silences when you run out of things to say.

Thanksgiving: When I’m thankful that I can blame my food baby on the turkey, instead of all the mashed potatoes I ate.

Thanksgiving is the one day a year when saying ‘no’ to dessert is a crime punishable by disownment.

Thanksgiving is like a buffet for food puns… it’s a feast for the wordplay!

Thanksgiving: the day when I give thanks to my oven for not catching fire after attempting to cook a turkey.