Funny Sayings to Brighten Your Dish Towels


Dishes today, or naked tomorrow.

Can’t touch this oven mitt.

Tomorrow’s meal is whatever didn’t kill us today.

I’m just a potholder until my ship comes in.

I’d rather whisk than do dishes.

Grate minds think alike.

Keep calm and saute on.

Life’s too short for boring dishes.

My kitchen, my rules.

Where there’s a whisk, there’s a way.

Real men do dishes.

I’m just here for the food.

A watched pot never boils, so let’s have a drink!

Meal time is my play time.

Recipes are just suggestions.

Serving up smiles, one dish at a time.

Chop it like it’s hot.

Stressed, blessed and dish obsessed.

These dishes won’t do themselves, you know.

Wash your own damn dishes.

Fork it, let’s get takeout.

Taken out of the oven to prevent further burning.

Surviving the heat one dish at a time.

Whip it good.

Saucy and proud.

Chop it like it’s hot!

I’m not a pro in the kitchen, but I can sure stir the pot!

Whisk me away!

Don’t go bacon my heart.

Life is what you bake it.

Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy.

Don’t be afraid to take whisks.

I like big buns and I cannot lie.

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

I’m not a chef but my seasoning is a game-changer.

When in doubt, add more wine.

License to Grill.

I’ve got the beet.

Roll with it.

Never trust a skinny cook.

Dinner is coming.

Eat it or starve.

Just roll with it.

My kitchen was clean last week, sorry you missed it.

This is my jam.

Spatula-wielding kitchen ninja at your service.

Home is where the good food is.

I?m on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.

Keep calm and saute on.

You only live once ? lick the bowl!

Out of my kitchen, this is my kingdom!

Don’t go bacon my heart.

Chop it like it’s hot.

Dull women have immaculate kitchens.

This is how I roll – with a picture of a rolling pin.

I kiss better than I cook.

Whip it good.

Just beat it – with a picture of an egg beater.

The secret ingredient is always love… and a bit of wine.

I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener.

Life is short, lick the spoon.

My kitchen is for dancing.

All about that baste.

My cooking is fabulous. Even the smoke alarm is cheering on me.

You only live once, lick the bowl.

My kitchen, my rules.

Will cook for wine.

Cooking rule: If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza.

Love you from my head Tomatoes.

Real men wear aprons.

I’m not a chef, but I can make a mean lasagna!

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