Quotes

Funny Religious Quotes

Why did the scarecrow become a religious leader? Because he was outstanding in his field!

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead!

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She started hugging me!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I used to be a baker by trade, but I couldn’t make enough dough!

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!

I saw a sign at the church that said ‘The end is near.’ I thought, well, it’s about time they finish that construction project!

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop it a line!

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a car and asked for forgiveness instead!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

I saw a sign at the church that said ‘Get closer to God, one step at a time.’ So, I took an escalator!

I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist!

Why did the Buddhist get kicked out of the party? Because he couldn’t keep his zen-timents to himself!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, but she hugged me instead!

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, but she just rolled her eyes at me. Guess she still needs to work on her yoga!

I asked the Lord for a bike, but I know he doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness!

Why did Moses go to the doctor? To get his tablets checked!

I have a split personality. Said Tom, being frank!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

I once had a teacher who had amnesia. He forgot about our homework!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She started hugging me!

Why did the scarecrow become a religious leader? Because he was outstanding in his field!

I saw a sign at the church that said ‘Get closer to God, one step at a time.’ So, I took an escalator!

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop it a line!

I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a car and asked for forgiveness instead!

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

I saw a sign at the church that said ‘The end is near.’ I thought, well, it’s about time they finish that construction project!

Why did the Buddhist get kicked out of the party? Because he couldn’t keep his zen-timents to himself!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist!

Why did Moses go to the doctor? To get his tablets checked!

I have a split personality. Said Tom, being frank!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

I once had a teacher who had amnesia. He forgot about our homework!

I asked the Lord for a bike, but I know he doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness!

My prayers are like laundry: sometimes they go in one ear and out the other.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead!

Why did the ghost go to church? He wanted some boooooost!

I asked God for a car, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a car and asked for forgiveness instead!

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