Funny Quotes – Short and Hilarious
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a secret mission to test gravity.
I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.
I’m not a chef, I just microwave like a boss.
I’m not clumsy, I’m just a ninja in training.
If common sense was a person, it would have taken a vacation from me long ago.
I’m not stalking you, I’m just researching your life intensely.
I’m not short, I’m fun-sized for your convenience.
I don’t make mistakes, I just have unexpected learning opportunities.
I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.
I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
I’m not forgetful, I’m just living in a parallel universe.
I’m not talking to myself, I’m just having a team meeting.
I don’t have a special talent, I’m just easily entertained.
I’m not late, I’m just on my own unique time zone.
I don’t need an alarm clock, my internal alarm wakes me up at random times.
I’m not a couch potato, I’m an indoor relaxation expert.
I don’t need a personal trainer, my cat keeps me active with its constant demands for attention.
Funny Quotes – Short and Hilarious part 2
I don’t have bad luck, I just live in a neighborhood full of opportunities.
I’m not clumsy, I’m directionally challenged.
I don’t have a favorite color, I just can’t make up my mind.
I don’t have a sweet tooth, I have an entire bakery in my mouth.
I’m not addicted to social media, I just have high levels of FOMO.
I’m not a morning person, I’m a pillow enthusiast.
I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.
I don’t need an alarm clock, my phone gets lonely and starts making noise.
I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.
I don’t need caffeine, I’m already naturally hyper.
I’m not clumsy, I’m just hugging the floor excessively.
I’m not a control freak, I just have strong suggestions.
I don’t procrastinate, I just enjoy doing things at the last minute.
I don’t snore, I provide background music while sleeping.
I’m not a troublemaker, I’m just allergic to boredom.
I’m not late, I just like to practice patience.
I don’t have a short attention span, I just prefer to multitask all the time.
I’m not ignoring you, I’m just mentally vacationing somewhere else.
I’m not a comedian, I’m just a professional at making bad jokes.
I don’t need a personal assistant, my phone knows everything about me.
I don’t believe in luck, I believe in random acts of awesomeness.
I’m not a morning person, I’m just nocturnally inclined.
I don’t have road rage, I have car enthusiasm.
I don’t have a six-pack, I have a family pack.
I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong because I can twist the truth to fit my narrative.