Life is too short to take everything seriously. Just laugh and move on!
The key to happiness in life is a good sense of humor, and a really big pizza.
Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving and occasionally fall off.
If life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain and not caring if you look like a fool.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
The best way to get over a problem is to find the humor in it.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance and do the Macarena.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s sweet, but sometimes you get stuck with the coconut ones.
Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse’s can shorten it.
Life is too short to wear boring socks.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude, and a little bit of chocolate doesn’t hurt either.
I could exercise, but I’m not a quitter.
Life is like a hemline, sometimes it goes up, sometimes it goes down, but what really matters is the fabric.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way.
If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘honey’ and we’ll be fine.
Life is too short for boring hair, so make it fabulous!
I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.’
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb shit, just slower.
I just want to be wealthy enough to throw coins into a wishing well while yelling, ‘Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening!’
Life is like a game of poker. You can either play it safe or bluff to win.
If life gives you lemons, make margaritas. Then find someone whose life gave them salt and tequila, and party!
Remember, stress spelled backward is ‘desserts.’ Coincidence? I think not.
Life is too short for fake butter and sour people.
I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in the correct order, as they should be.
Life is an open book, but it’s written in Russian and you can’t read Russian.
Never take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.
If life gives you lemons, add vodka, and throw a party!
I always try to go the extra mile, but my GPS’s voice keeps telling me to turn back.
Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.
Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m avoiding people and temporarily serving detention in the Fortress of Solitude.
Life is too short to be spent in the gym, unless you’re ordering pizza delivery.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Life is like a supermarket. You keep running into people you know, and you’re really hoping they don’t see what’s in your shopping cart.
I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I like to call it lunch.
Life is like a sandwich. You have to fill it with the best ingredients to make it tasty.
The best things in life are free… except for makeup and wifi – they have a price.
If life hands you oranges, you’re colorblind.
I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a magician.
Life is too short to take everything seriously. Just laugh and move on!
The key to happiness in life is a good sense of humor, and a really big pizza.
Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving and occasionally fall off.
If life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain and not caring if you look like a fool.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
The best way to get over a problem is to find the humor in it.
If you stumble, make it part of the dance and do the Macarena.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s sweet, but sometimes you get stuck with the coconut ones.
Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse’s can shorten it.
Life is too short to wear boring socks.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude, and a little bit of chocolate doesn’t hurt either.
I could exercise, but I’m not a quitter.
Life is like a hemline, sometimes it goes up, sometimes it goes down, but what really matters is the fabric.
Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way.
If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘honey’ and we’ll be fine.
Life is too short for boring hair, so make it fabulous!
I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop pissing me off.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.’
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb shit, just slower.
I just want to be wealthy enough to throw coins into a wishing well while yelling, ‘Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening!’
Life is like a game of poker. You can either play it safe or bluff to win.
If life gives you lemons, make margaritas. Then find someone whose life gave them salt and tequila, and party!
Remember, stress spelled backward is ‘desserts.’ Coincidence? I think not.
Life is too short for fake butter and sour people.
I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in the correct order, as they should be.
Life is an open book, but it’s written in Russian and you can’t read Russian.
Never take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.
If life gives you lemons, add vodka, and throw a party!
I always try to go the extra mile, but my GPS’s voice keeps telling me to turn back.
Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.
Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m avoiding people and temporarily serving detention in the Fortress of Solitude.
Life is too short to be spent in the gym, unless you’re ordering pizza delivery.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Life is like a supermarket. You keep running into people you know, and you’re really hoping they don’t see what’s in your shopping cart.
I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I like to call it lunch.
Life is like a sandwich. You have to fill it with the best ingredients to make it tasty.
The best things in life are free… except for makeup and wifi – they have a price.
If life hands you oranges, you’re colorblind.
I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a magician.
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