Funny Quotes About Marriage

Marriage is like a game of cards – if you have a good hand, you don’t need to cheat.

Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master’s in nagging.

Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person – and her credit card.

Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is all about finding the person who is willing to put up with your craziness for the rest of their life.

Marriage is the only union where you get to be right or be happy, but never both at the same time.

Marriage is like a deck of cards – in the beginning, all you need are two hearts and a diamond, and by the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Marriage is the ultimate test of your ability to tolerate someone else’s annoying habits.

The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor, a lot of patience, and a short memory.

Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband pretending to agree.

Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that’s too hot or too cold.

Marriage is a mutual agreement to never go to bed angry, but to stay up and fight until someone gives in.

In marriage, a woman always has the last word – either ‘yes, dear’ or ‘whatever, dear.’

Marriage is the process of finding out which kind of person your spouse would have really preferred to marry.

Marriage is just a fancy word for a never-ending sleepover with your best friend.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Marriage is sharing a life together, but also sharing the remote control.

Marriage is like a walk in the park – a Jurassic Park!

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Marriage is like a public toilet – those waiting outside are desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to come out.

Marriage is like a game of chess – one wrong move and you end up with a checkmate.

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is the only institution where you have to complete a full background check on the other person’s family.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband who survives by saying ‘yes, dear.’

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred to marry.

Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life – all in the name of love.

Marriage is the bonding of two souls, one forgetful and the other forgiving.

Marriage is like a good cup of coffee – it’s hot, but after a while, you get used to it and can’t start your day without it.

Marriage is like a game of twister, except instead of dots, the positions are compromised self-esteem, broken dreams, and lost freedom.

Marriage is like a bathtub – the longer you’re in it, the colder it gets.

Marriage is like a walk in the park… More like a Jurassic Park.

Marriage is the only institution where you’ll get a degree before you start and a life sentence when you finish.

Marriage is like a telephone call in the middle of the night – first, you get a scare, and then you get a dialogue, negotiation, and, sometimes, an apology.

Marriage is like a game of monopoly – your money is gradually taken away, and you end up in jail.

Marriage is like a revolving door – some people go in and out, while others just stand still waiting for their turn.

Marriage is like a tug-of-war – one side is always going to win, but neither will ever admit it.

Marriage is like a rollercoaster – it has its ups and downs, but it’s always better with the person sitting next to you screaming in your ear.

Marriage is the ultimate commitment – a lifelong sentence filled with love, laughter, and a lot of laundry.

Marriage is like a marathon – it’s a long, exhausting journey, but crossing the finish line together makes it all worth it.

In marriage, each person offers 100%, but somehow ends up giving 110% in arguments.

Marriage is like a dictionary – you have to stay committed to learning new words, even if they’re not always pleasant to hear.

Marriage is a rollercoaster ride – you scream and laugh, and sometimes you even throw up, but you always come back for more.

Marriage is like a cooking recipe – you need the perfect blend of love, trust, and a pinch of insanity to make it work.