Quotes

Funny Quotes About Gambling

Why did the scarecrow go to the casino? He needed some ‘straw’berries!

I never gamble with selfies – it’s all about ‘betting’ on the perfect angle!

What did the poker dealer say to the deck of cards? ‘I can’t deal with you anymore!’

I never trust atoms, they make up everything – just like the odds at a casino!

What did the fisherman say to the gambler? ‘Don’t bet your sole on that hand!’

I have a love-hate relationship with casinos. They always take my money, but they give me free drinks!

Why was the math book sad at the casino? It had too many ‘problems’ to solve!

I told my wife I had a ‘poker face,’ but she said it was more like a ‘resting sour face.’

Why did the roulette wheel file a police report? It was a victim of ‘wheel theft!’

My friends call me a high roller, but only because I eat sushi with extra wasabi!

I went to the casino and bet on a horse named ‘Cake.’ It was a piece of cake!

I don’t need luck at the casino, I just need an ATM nearby!

Why did the poker player go broke? He couldn’t keep a straight face!

I tried counting cards at the casino, but they kicked me out for using my fingers!

What did the dice say to the gambler? ‘Roll with it!’

My bank account is like a slot machine – it always leaves me feeling empty!

Why did the poker player go to art school? He wanted to perfect his ‘poker face’!

I went to the casino with a bag full of cash, but it turned out to be all ‘pennies from heaven!’

What did the gambler say to the deck of cards? ‘I’m all in, deal with it!’

I’m not addicted to gambling, I just have a ‘strong poker face’!

I love playing poker because it’s the only time I can ‘raise’ without feeling guilty!

Why was the poker table mistaken for a circus act? It had too many ‘jokers’!

I challenged my cat to a game of poker, but he always ‘folded’ for treats!

Why did the slot machine go on vacation? It needed a ‘reel’ break!

I once won so much at the casino, they gave me a plaque for ‘beating the odds!’

I have a strategy for winning at the casino: don’t bet!

I went to a casino in space, but the odds were astronomical!

I asked the dealer at the casino for advice, but he just said, ‘you’ve got to ‘deal’ with it!’

I lost so much at the casino, they asked me if I wanted a receipt for my ‘bad luck!’

Why did the gambler go to a costume party? He wanted to ‘bet’ on the best dressed!

I bet my friend I could stop gambling any time I wanted. And that’s when I realized I had a problem!

What did the blackjack dealer say to the ghost? ‘Hit me if you dare!’

I went to the casino and they asked me if I wanted a ‘roulette’ table. I said, ‘I don’t gamble on wheels – only on my luck!’

Why did the gambler bring a ladder to the casino? He wanted to ‘raise the stakes!’

I’m not addicted to gambling, I just have a ‘chip’ on my shoulder!

Why did the gambler go to the doctor? He had ‘poker face’ cramps!

I found a four-leaf clover at the casino. Turns out, it was a ‘chip’ off the old block!

What did the roulette wheel say to the ball? ‘You give me a ‘spin’ of excitement!’

I don’t play cards, but I collect them – in my wallet!

Why did the poker player go to the library? He was looking for a ‘check’ book!

I went to the casino and they said they were raising the stakes. I told them, ‘I’m already ‘betting’ on myself!’

I once won a poker tournament with a royal flush. Then I woke up!

What did the blackjack dealer say on vacation? ‘I’m taking a ‘hit’ to the beach!’

Why did the card shark bring a fishing pole to the casino? He wanted to ‘reel’ in his winnings!

I don’t believe in luck, but I do love ‘betting’ on myself!

Why did the dice go to therapy? It had a ‘rolling’ problem!

What did the poker player say to the magician? ‘I’ll see your ace and raise you a trick!’

I went to the casino and won so much money, I bought a ‘poker face’ makeover!

Why did the poker player dress as a pirate? He was hoping to find ‘treasure’ cards!

I lost so much money at the casino, the ATM asked me if I needed ‘financial counseling!’


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