Funny Poop Quotes

You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

I’m not a doctor, but I know you need to stop being so full of crap.

If life gives you poop, make fertilizer.

Never trust a fart.

Poop happens, but don’t let it ruin your day.

Remember, everyone poops. Except unicorns.

Flush your worries away.

Be like toilet paper – strong and ready for anything.

I may not be perfect, but at least I don’t poop in my pants.

Poop is proof that even the most unpleasant things can bring people together.

Laughter is the best laxative.

If I had a dollar for every time someone took a poop joke too seriously, I’d be a billionaire.

I’m not saying I love poop, but I’m not saying I don’t love poop.

Life’s too short to not laugh at poop jokes.

I’m here to take names and poop on dreams.

Pooping is a natural talent, but being funny about it is a gift.

Just remember, it’s only awkward if you make it awkward while in a public bathroom.

I’m not the poop emoji, but I can definitely relate to its facial expression sometimes.

Never underestimate the power of a good poop.

If you’re feeling down, just remember that someone out there is having a worse poop day than you.

Dance like nobody’s watching, poop like it’s the most important thing you’ll ever do.

A good poop is like a fresh start to your day.

Don’t let the fear of clogging a toilet hold you back from living your best life.

When life gets messy, just grab a plunger and keep pushing forward.

Poop is nature’s way of saying, ‘You’re doing just fine.’

You might be a poop if… you bring a magazine to every bathroom visit.

Fear no toilet, for it is your throne.

Embrace the poop emoji – it’s the universal symbol of ‘Shit happens.’

I may not be a mathematician, but I know that poop + toilet = happiness.

Some people are like constipation – they just can’t let shit go.

The only thing worse than a bad day is a bad poop day.

Never trust a fart – it’s like playing Russian roulette with your underwear.

Pooping is a time for reflection, relaxation, and maybe a little reading.

Poop jokes may be corny, but they’re always a-maize-ing.

When life gives you lemons, flush them down the toilet and make lemonade.

Poop is the great equalizer – everyone does it, no matter how rich or famous.

Just remember, it’s better to be the one laughing at the poop joke than the one being laughed at.

Every time you flush a toilet, a fairy gets its wings.

I’m not saying my poop is a work of art, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up in a museum someday.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your poop doesn’t matter – it’s what makes you, well, you.

The best stories start with, ‘So I was sitting on the toilet…’

Poop may be brown, but it’s the color of strength and resilience.

I’m just a drop in the toilet bowl of life, but at least I leave an impression.

Life’s a journey, and sometimes that journey leads you straight to the nearest bathroom.

If life hands you poop, make sure you have plenty of toilet paper.

I may not be a superhero, but I can definitely poop faster than a speeding bullet.

Pooping is like a game of hide and seek – sometimes you just have to wait for the perfect moment.

I’m not saying my poop is the eighth wonder of the world, but it’s definitely up there.

Never underestimate the power of a good poop emoji – it can brighten anyone’s day.

In the game of life, poop happens, but it’s how you handle it that determines your success.

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