Funny Meditation Quotes

Meditation: the art of sitting quietly and thinking loudly.

Inhale tacos, exhale negativity.

Meditation: the only time it’s acceptable to forget your own name.

I tried meditating, but my inner voice just asked if we could order pizza.

Meditation: where your mind goes on vacation and leaves your body behind.

Don’t just do something, sit there.

My mind is like a crowded train station during rush hour, and meditation is the platform announcement that everyone ignores.

Meditation: the art of doing nothing with style.

The only thing I’m focused on during meditation is not falling asleep.

Meditation: the ultimate excuse for taking a nap while sitting up.

I tried meditating, but my thoughts were too loud for the silence.

Meditation: the only time it’s socially acceptable to wear yoga pants and not actually do yoga.

I meditate so I don’t strangle people. It’s my daily dose of self-restraint.

My meditation practice is about as peaceful as a rock concert.

Meditation: the art of pretending to be deep while sitting on a cushion.

My mind during meditation: ‘What’s for dinner? Did I turn off the stove? Did I forget to feed the cat?’

Meditation: the only time it’s encouraged to have a full-blown conversation with yourself.

I tried meditating, but my thoughts were so chaotic they formed a mosh pit in my mind.

Meditation: the art of sitting still while your thoughts run wild.

I meditate to find my inner peace, only to realize it’s hiding under a pile of to-do lists.

Meditation: the fine art of zoning out and looking enlightened.

My mind is like a wild monkey during meditation: swinging from thought to thought, with no rhyme or reason.

Meditation: the process of trying to clear your mind and ending up with even more thoughts.

I may not be enlightened, but at least I’m well-rested from all this meditation.

Meditation: the perfect excuse for a 20-minute nap without judgment.

I tried meditating, but I got distracted by the sound of my own breathing.

Meditation: where I go to think deep thoughts like ‘What should I have for dinner?’

They say meditation is the key to inner peace. I say it’s the key to a good power nap.

Meditation: the art of sitting cross-legged and contemplating the meaning of life while ignoring all your responsibilities.

I meditate to find my inner calm, only to realize it’s hiding in the bottom of a bag of potato chips.

Meditation: the only time I’m allowed to do absolutely nothing without feeling guilty.

Clearing my mind during meditation is like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

Meditation: the practice of pretending to be deep and wise while really thinking about what to have for lunch.

I tried meditating, but my inner voice had a better idea: binge-watching Netflix.

Meditation: the art of silencing your mind and turning up the volume on your intuition.

I meditate so I can tell people I’m working on my spiritual growth instead of just taking a nap.

Meditation: the only time it’s acceptable to have a staring contest with a wall.

I tried meditating, but my mind went on a bungee jump of random thoughts.

Meditation: the practice of sitting alone with your thoughts… and then googling random things.

Finding inner peace through meditation is like trying to find a needle in a haystack while blindfolded.

Meditation: the art of sitting quietly and pretending to know what you’re doing.

They say meditation helps with stress, but all it does is make me think about all the things I need to get done.

Meditation: the only time I can be a couch potato and feel enlightened at the same time.

I meditate so I can appear deep and reflective while actually just daydreaming about puppies.

Meditation: where I go to have a staring contest with my own thoughts.

I tried meditating, but my mind was too busy planning my next vacation to find inner peace.

Meditation: the art of trying to be present while simultaneously mentally making a grocery list.

I meditate to find my inner peace, but all I find is a lot of dust bunnies under the couch.

Meditation: the practice of sitting quietly and pretending to be so deep in thought that you can’t hear your spouse calling you.

I tried meditating, but all I achieved was perfecting the art of falling asleep while sitting upright.