Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops!

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right… and the other is the husband!

Why have a great life when you can have a great wife?

Marriage is like a deck of cards; you start with two hearts and a diamond, but in the end, you just want a club and a spade!

My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends!

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, ‘Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.’ So I got her nothing.

Marriage is all about compromise. For example, I compromised my dreams, and she compromised with reality!

Behind every great husband is an annoyed wife!

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering!

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!

The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it!

Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Funny Marriage Quotes part 2

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way!

Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is lava, the king can fly, and the queen has a shotgun!

In our marriage, my wife has the last word – in every argument. Anything after that is the start of a new argument!

Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park!

Marriage is like a roller coaster. Ups, downs, and sometimes you just wanna throw up!

The first year of marriage is like being in a survival reality show. You never know what you’ll have to eat or where you’ll end up sleeping!

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown child who can’t do anything for themselves!

My wife asked me to take her to a fancy restaurant for our anniversary. So, I took her to the gas station!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right… and the other is the wife!

Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!

Marriage is like a walk in the park. But the park is Disneyland, and you’re surrounded by zombies!

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown child who can’t do anything for themselves!

My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two more wives!

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Why have a great life when you can have a great wife?

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right… and the other is the wife!

Marriage is all about compromise. For example, I compromised my dreams, and she compromised with reality!

Behind every great husband is an amazed wife!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right… and the other is the husband!

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!

Marriage is like a deck of cards; you start with two hearts and a diamond, but in the end, you just want a club and a spade!

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, ‘Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.’ So I got her nothing.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way!

Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

In our marriage, my wife has the last word – in every argument. Anything after that is the start of a new argument!

Marriage is like a roller coaster. Ups, downs, and sometimes you just wanna throw up!

Marriage is a fusion of two forgivers who refuse to give up on each other!