Quotes

Funny Joe Biden Quotes

Why did Joe Biden go to the bank? He heard they had a lot of change!

I told Joe Biden I was going to a party, and he said, ‘Ask the balloons if they need a ride!’

Joe Biden believes in equality for all, especially when it comes to the number of ice cream flavors!

Joe Biden loves to exercise his right to remain silent… especially during interviews!

Joe Biden doesn’t need a map to find his way. He just follows the sound of his own voice!

Joe Biden’s favorite exercise? Running for president!

Did you hear about Joe Biden’s favorite type of cooking? It’s called ‘hot air frying’!

Joe Biden’s favorite song? ‘I Will Talk-ock You’!

Joe Biden has a superhero alter ego: Super Gaffe Man!

Joe Biden’s secret talent? He can juggle teleprompters!

Joe Biden’s favorite animal? The gaffe-erfly!

Joe Biden’s favorite pickup line? ‘Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!’

Did you hear Joe Biden’s new slogan? ‘Make America Laugh Again!’

Joe Biden is the only person who can say ‘I’m gonna circle back’ and actually make a u-turn!

Joe Biden’s favorite sport? Trivia, because he always has a way of coming up with the wrong answers!

Joe Biden’s new book should be called ‘Gaffes: The Art of Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth!’

Joe Biden’s favorite board game? Sorry! He’s always apologizing for something!

Joe Biden’s favorite website? Gaffepedia!

Did you know Joe Biden once tried to start a comedy club? Unfortunately, everyone laughed too hard at his jokes!

Joe Biden’s favorite knock-knock joke: ‘Knock knock.’ ‘Who’s there?’ ‘Joe.’ ‘Joe who?’ ‘Joe Biden, and I approved this joke!’

Joe Biden’s favorite dance move? The shuffle, because he’s always changing his position!

Why did Joe Biden bring a ladder to the debate? He wanted to reach new levels of confusion!

Joe Biden’s favorite icebreaker at parties: ‘Have you heard the one about the politician who always tells the truth?’

Joe Biden’s idea of security: having a fence of teleprompters!

Why did Joe Biden wear sunglasses in the debate? He didn’t want voters to see his ‘Bidenisms’!

Joe Biden’s favorite coffee order: a grande latte with extra foam and a side of gaffes!

Joe Biden’s favorite magic trick: making his approval ratings disappear!

Joe Biden’s secret to winning elections: the power of confusion!

Joe Biden’s favorite type of comedy? Slapstick, because he’s always slipping up!

Joe Biden’s favorite breakfast cereal: Gaffios, they’re magically confusing!

Joe Biden’s favorite horror movie: The Gaffe Witch Project!

Joe Biden’s favorite workout: curling his eyebrows!

Why did Joe Biden wear a football helmet while giving a speech? He wanted to protect his train of thought!

Joe Biden’s favorite video game: Gaffe Theft Auto!

Joe Biden’s favorite superhero power: the ability to change his mind in a single bound!

Joe Biden’s favorite ice cream flavor? Cherry confusion!

Why did Joe Biden bring a compass to the debate? He needed help finding his way back to his talking points!

Joe Biden’s favorite fruit? The gaffe-ruit: it’s a mix between a grape and a banana!

Joe Biden’s favorite type of car? A convertible, because he’s always changing his position!

Why did Joe Biden bring a comb to the debate? He wanted to comb through his thoughts!

Joe Biden’s favorite pastime? Watching reruns of ‘The Gaffy Bunch’!

Joe Biden’s favorite ice cream topping? Whipped gaffe!

Why did Joe Biden bring a pen to the debate? He wanted to draw attention away from his gaffes!

Joe Biden’s favorite dance move? The slip and slide!

Joe Biden’s favorite outdoor activity? Gaffe fishing: he’s always reeling in the mistakes!

Did you hear Joe Biden’s favorite breakfast food? Waffle-ffes!

Why did Joe Biden bring a map to the debate? He wanted to make sure he gaffed in every state!

Joe Biden’s favorite comedian? Gaffe Chapelle!

Why did Joe Biden bring a parachute to the debate? He wanted a fast exit strategy in case his gaffes took a nosedive!

Joe Biden’s favorite dessert? A gaffecake with extra flubs on top!

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