I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing random acts of gravity.
I’m not funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
I’m not a gym rat, I’m just an undercover superhero.
I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.
I’m not addicted to chocolate, I just have a sweet tooth that can’t be tamed.
I’m not a morning person, I’m just not a fan of reality.
I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.
I’m not a bad cook, I’m just a gourmet arsonist.
I’m not stubborn, I just refuse to agree with anything that doesn’t make sense to me.
I’m not rude, I’m just very honest.
I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just waiting for the right moment.
I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
I’m not a pessimist, I’m just a realist who hates rainbows and sunshine.
I’m not a technophobe, I’m just a wizard in a world that doesn’t appreciate magic.
I’m not a control freak, I just have everyone else’s best interests at heart.
I’m not a couch potato, I’m a professional relaxer.
I’m not an expert, I just make it up as I go along and hope for the best.
I’m not a mind reader, I just have impressive deductive skills.
I’m not disorganized, I’m just practicing controlled chaos.
I’m not a shopaholic, I just have a natural talent for retail therapy.
I’m not a picky eater, I just have a refined palate.
I’m not boring, I just enjoy doing nothing.
I’m not a klutz, I’m just a walking comedy show.
I’m not high maintenance, I’m just low on patience.
I’m not an expert at life, I just play one in my head.
I’m not lazy, I’m on a temporary energy conservation program.
I’m not a know-it-all, I just know more than you.
I’m not a drama queen, I’m just a diva in distress.
I’m not a hoarder, I just collect things with sentimental value.
I’m not indecisive, I just like to weigh all my options for an extended period of time.
I’m not an early bird, I’m a perpetually exhausted pigeon.
I’m not an introvert, I’m just selectively social.
I’m not a perfectionist, I just have high standards that no one can meet.
I’m not a chatterbox, I just have a lot of important things to say.
I’m not a control freak, I’m just passionate about being in charge.
I’m not a daydreamer, I’m just a visionary in a boring world.
I’m not forgetful, I just have a mind that likes to wander.
I’m not a procrastinator, I’m a master of effective time management.
I’m not a night owl, I’m just more productive in the moonlight.
I’m not a hypochondriac, I just like to be prepared for all possible outcomes.
I’m not a risk-taker, I just have a flair for dramatic entrances.
I’m not insecure, I’m just extra cautious about who I trust.
I’m not a party pooper, I’m just allergic to fun.
I’m not a workaholic, I’m just passionately committed to meeting deadlines.
I’m not technologically challenged, I just prefer a more analog lifestyle.
I’m not a multitasker, I just like to make everything more challenging for myself.
I’m not a people pleaser, I just have impeccable manners.
I’m not high maintenance, I just have expensive taste.
I’m not a picky eater, I just have a sophisticated palate.
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