Funny HR Quotes

HR: Where ‘I’ll check my calendar’ means ‘I have no idea what I’m doing today.’

HR: Where we make guessing work look like science.

HR: Where ‘we’ll get back to you’ is code for ‘forget about it’.

HR: Where ‘teamwork’ means everyone agrees with me.

HR: Where ‘dress code’ is a suggestion, not a requirement.

HR: Where ‘flexible hours’ means you can work whenever, as long as you get your work done.

HR: Providing the perfect blend of rules and chaos since forever.

HR: Where ‘we’re all in this together’ means ‘you’re on your own’.

HR: Where ‘performance review’ is just another word for ‘let’s find something wrong with you’.

HR: Where ‘professional development’ means watching YouTube videos.

HR: Where ‘positive company culture’ means free snacks in the break room.

HR: The only department where you can get a promotion without actually doing any work.

HR: Where ’employee engagement’ means office happy hours.

HR: The only department where ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer.

HR: The department that magically disappears when there’s a conflict.

HR: Where ‘conflict resolution’ means ‘let’s hope they forget about it’.

HR: Where meetings are just an excuse to complain about our jobs.

HR: Where ‘work-life balance’ is a myth we tell ourselves.

HR: Where ‘we value diversity’ means having one person from each continent in the office.

HR: Where ’employee benefits’ means discounted gym memberships and mediocre healthcare.

HR: Where ‘team building activities’ are just an excuse to avoid actual work.

HR: Where ‘open-door policy’ means the door is open, but no one is home.

HR: The department that knows everything about everyone, except how to do their job.

HR: The place where common sense goes to die.

HR: The department that can turn any simple task into an elaborate process.

HR: The masters of bureaucracy and red tape.

HR: The department that takes themselves way too seriously.

HR: The department that can turn any problem into a PowerPoint presentation.

HR: The department that knows all the company’s dirty secrets.

HR: Where ’employee engagement surveys’ are just a form of entertainment.

HR: Where ‘confidentiality’ means ‘tell everyone in the office’.

HR: The department that somehow manages to make everything more complicated than it needs to be.

HR: The department that thinks ’employee morale’ can be solved with a company picnic.

HR: The department that believes they know what’s best for everyone, except themselves.

HR: The department that can turn any problem into a 5-step process.

HR: The masters of meaningless jargon and buzzwords.

HR: The department that can turn any simple task into a full-day workshop.

HR: Where ‘attention to detail’ means catching typos in company-wide emails.

HR: The department that thinks a smiley face emoji is a form of employee recognition.

HR: The department that takes credit for all the hard work done by others.

HR: The masters of passive-aggressive emails and memos.

HR: The department that somehow always manages to be understaffed and overworked.

HR: Where ‘professional development’ means ‘let’s see how many webinars we can attend while simultaneously checking our emails’.

HR: The department that turns employees into numbers and statistics.

HR: The department that believes ’employee engagement’ can be solved with a ping pong table.

HR: The department that knows how to create a policy for every possible scenario, except the ones that actually happen.

HR: The department that can turn any problem into a committee.

HR: The department that believes ‘work-life balance’ can be achieved by sleeping under your desk.

HR: The department that can turn any simple decision into a month-long debate.

HR: The masters of making simple things complicated.