Funny Dad Quotes
Dad jokes are like a fine wine – they don’t get better with age.
I was going to tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
I used to have a job at a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
I asked my dad why he doesn’t trust stairs. He said, ‘They’re always up to something.’
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
I invented a new word: Plagiarism.
My dad can make anything exciting. Just add the word ‘adventure’ to it.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I told my wife she should do a ‘warm-up’ before exercising. So now she drinks a cup of coffee before her workout.
I asked my dad how he cuts his hair. He said, ‘With a clipper and a prayer!’
I used to hate my beard, but then it grew on me.
I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the park and asked the birds for advice. They told me to eat more worms.
I told my dad I was cold. He said, ‘Go stand in a corner, it’s 90 degrees!’
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
I asked my dad if he wanted to hear a construction joke. He said, ‘Sure, build me up!’
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
I told my dad I wanted to be a comedian. He said, ‘Sorry, but I can’t take you seriously.’
I asked my dad if he ever had a mid-life crisis. He said, ‘Nah, I’ve been having a mid-life nap.’
Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse!
My dad’s favorite animal is a dad-bod-osaurus – it’s extinct, but still lovable!
I asked my dad if he likes my new haircut. He said, ‘I haven’t seen it yet!’
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
I asked my dad if he can put the cat out. He said, ‘I didn’t know it was on fire!’
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
I asked my dad why he doesn’t trust stairs. He said, ‘They’re always up to something.’
I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I mist.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
I asked my dad why he doesn’t trust stairs. He said, ‘They’re always up to something.’
I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I mist.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I asked my dad if he can put the cat out. He said, ‘I didn’t know it was on fire!’
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I asked my dad why he doesn’t trust stairs. He said, ‘They’re always up to something.’
I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I mist.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
I asked my dad why he doesn’t trust stairs. He said, ‘They’re always up to something.’
I tried to take a photo of some fog, but I mist.