Funny Crazy Quotes

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

I’m so cool, even ice cubes are jealous.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange furniture.

I always choose the lazy option, because I’m too creative to waste energy.

The secret to inner peace is finding joy in accidentally sending a text to the wrong person.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.

Life is too short to wear boring socks.

I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

The best exercise I do is running late.

I’m not lazy, I’m just saving my energy for when I really need it.

Funny Crazy Quotes part 2

I call it multi-tasking, others call it being easily distracted.

I’m so talented, I can fall asleep everywhere.

I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.

I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.

I’m not a superhero, but I could be if you just give me a cape.

I don’t make mistakes, I make spontaneous decisions.

My level of sarcasm is directly related to the stupidity of the person I’m talking to.

I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

I don’t snore, I dream of being a motorcycle.

The best part about being me is that I’m not you.

I’m not saying I’m funny, but my life should be a stand-up comedy show.

The only marathon I participate in is binge-watching Netflix.

I wish retail therapy was covered by my health insurance.

I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

If you think I’m talking to myself, I’m just having a staff meeting.

I’m not strange, I’m just a limited edition.

I’m not clumsy, everything just happens to be in the wrong place.

I speak fluent sarcasm and sarcasm is my second language.

I don’t have a short attention span, I just… oh look, a squirrel!

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Warning: I have a twisted sense of humor, proceed with caution.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

I don’t need a psychiatrist, my cat listens to me just fine.

I don’t need a superhero, I just need a nap.

I don’t need a fairy godmother, I have vodka.

If I were a vegetable, I’d be a chocolate-covered one.

I may be crazy, but at least I’m entertaining.

I’m not sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.

I’m not crazy, I’m just creatively different.

I don’t need a chef, I can burn water just fine.

I don’t need a gym, I get plenty of exercise rolling my eyes.

I don’t need a psychiatrist, I have a great sense of humor.

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition and hard to find.

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

I’m so cool, even ice cubes are jealous.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange furniture.

I always choose the lazy option, because I’m too creative to waste energy.

The secret to inner peace is finding joy in accidentally sending a text to the wrong person.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.

Life is too short to wear boring socks.

I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

The best exercise I do is running late.

I’m not lazy, I’m just saving my energy for when I really need it.

I call it multi-tasking, others call it being easily distracted.

I’m so talented, I can fall asleep everywhere.

I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.

I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.

I’m not a superhero, but I could be if you just give me a cape.

I don’t make mistakes, I make spontaneous decisions.

My level of sarcasm is directly related to the stupidity of the person I’m talking to.

I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

I don’t snore, I dream of being a motorcycle.

The best part about being me is that I’m not you.

I’m not saying I’m funny, but my life should be a stand-up comedy show.

The only marathon I participate in is binge-watching Netflix.

I wish retail therapy was covered by my health insurance.

I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

If you think I’m talking to myself, I’m just having a staff meeting.

I’m not strange, I’m just a limited edition.

I’m not clumsy, everything just happens to be in the wrong place.

I speak fluent sarcasm and sarcasm is my second language.

I don’t have a short attention span, I just… oh look, a squirrel!

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Warning: I have a twisted sense of humor, proceed with caution.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

I don’t need a psychiatrist, my cat listens to me just fine.

I don’t need a superhero, I just need a nap.

I don’t need a fairy godmother, I have vodka.

If I were a vegetable, I’d be a chocolate-covered one.

I may be crazy, but at least I’m entertaining.

I’m not sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.

I’m not crazy, I’m just creatively different.

I don’t need a chef, I can burn water just fine.

I don’t need a gym, I get plenty of exercise rolling my eyes.

I don’t need a psychiatrist, I have a great sense of humor.

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition and hard to find.