Funny Basketball Quotes that Will Make You Laugh

When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.

In basketball, as in life, true joy comes from being fully present in each and every moment, not just when things are going your way.

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.

When it’s played the right way, basketball happens in the air; flying, floating, elevated above the floor, levitating the way oppressed peoples of this earth imagine themselves in their dreams.

Basketball is like photography, if you don’t focus, all you have is the negative.

Basketball doesn?t build character it reveals it.

You don’t play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball.

When I was young, I never wanted to leave the court until I got things exactly correct. My dream was to become a pro.

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

Basketball is a beautiful game when the five players on the court play with one heartbeat.

I’m not a role model… Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.

Basketball doesn?t take a lot of time, it takes a lot of effort.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

Remember, once you set a basketball on fire, you can?t dribble it anymore.

We’re like basketball team, always aiming for the basket.

Why is basketball the smartest sport? Because the players dribble!

Basketball is basically a game of Horse, just with a bit more running.

Any time Michael Jordan is your backup, you’re in pretty good shape.

They call it basketball because you’re supposed to BOUNCE the ball! Not hit it with your head!

Basketball: Where short people look up!

You miss 100% of the shots you never take, and if you think that doesn?t apply to food…you are wrong.

Comparing me to LeBron? That’s a huge honor… for him.

A basketball team is like a peanut, all the nuts don’t always get along.

My favorite basketball strategy – Aim high, shoot higher.

If you can’t handle the ball, then just try to join the cheerleading team.

I’m just as surprised as you are when the ball actually goes in.

Remember, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how awesome your excuses are.

Basketball teaches us to bounce back… even when there is no bounce in our step.

The only ?zone defense? I play is when I fight for the last cookie.

I’ve got handles like a spatula ? I’m always flipping the ball!

In basketball, as in life, there’s no harm in shooting your shot… unless you break a window.

They say basketball is like jazz, I just didn’t realize they meant all the improvisation I do on the court.

Basketball is my therapy: Running from problems, shooting my worries away and bouncing back from failures.

Most people are afraid of Sharks, I’m more afraid of hitting free throws.

You don’t play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. – Bobby Knight

I’d rather sink a basket than sing a song. – Unknown

In my world, the title ‘greatest basketball player’ means more than ‘greatest passer’ or ‘greatest rebounder’. – Anonymous

Basketball, it’s just like playing jazz. The rhythm is in you. – Unknown

Basketball players are like bucks, the young ones are scared of the old ones. – Anonymous

The squeaky sneaker gets the player. – Unknown

The best basketball players are like unsung heroes – Always there, never in the spotlight. – Unknown

Basketball is a sport where size, speed, and smarts are all great. But a sense of humor is vital. – Anonymous

In basketball, you can ignite your team with a good joke. – Anonymous

Basketball might be a sport of shorts, but it certainly isn’t short of laughs. – Unknown

It’s not how big you are, it’s how big you play. ? Unknown.

They call it basketball because the first five letters spell ‘baste’, which is exactly what you?d like to do to the opposing team: cook them slowly, basting them in a sauce of despair. – Unknown

Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.- Red Auerbach

If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. – Phil Jackson

I don?t hate any player enough to intentionally miss the basket. – Unknown

You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. – Zig Ziglar

Basketball: it?s like chess, but noisier. – Unknown

Basketball is where you can turn enemies into best buddies by the end of the game. – Unknown

The more I practice, the luckier I get. – Michael Jordan

Basketball is like taxes, sure things are death, dunks, and disappointment. – Unknown