If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
Why worry about yesterday’s mistakes when there are so many new ones to make?
Life is too short to take it seriously. Laugh often and laugh hard.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your coffee and carry on.
The most important thing in life is to not take yourself too seriously. The second most important thing is to never run out of chocolate.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not capable of great things. After all, snails made it onto Noah’s Ark.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. And make sure it has a peephole for when opportunity does show up unannounced.
Dear problems, thank you for making my life interesting. Without you, it would be just be a boring smooth ride.
Never trust a person who doesn’t love dogs. But if they don’t like pizza, stay far away.
The key to a balanced diet is a cupcake in each hand.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who lift you up. Also, if they can juggle, that’s a bonus.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Don’t worry about what others think of you. They’re too busy worrying about what you think of them.
If time is money, then I’m definitely bankrupt.
When in doubt, just take a nap. It’s like hitting the reset button on your brain.
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not an avocado.
Remember, hugging is the perfect medicine. Just be sure not to mix it up with cough syrup.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. After all, that’s how you discover new dance moves.
Find joy in the little things, like finding money in your pocket or successfully untangling a knot.
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn.
Life is a rollercoaster. Sometimes you just need to close your eyes, scream, and enjoy the ride.
You know you’re getting old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
If you can’t remember my name, just call me awesome. It’s close enough.
Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee and a ridiculous outfit.
When in doubt, dance it out. It’s scientifically proven to make you feel better.
Instead of trying to fit in, focus on standing out. A penguin in a crowd of flamingos is much more interesting.
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you’re laughing for no reason, you probably need some actual medicine.
Perfection is overrated. Embrace your flaws and let them shine. Who wants to hang out with a perfect person anyway?
If you find yourself stressed, just grab a spoon and pretend it’s a microphone. Instant karaoke therapy.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up. Failing that, eat cake.
If you can’t be a superhero, be a supervillain. They have much cooler outfits.
Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle. Unless it’s glitter. Glitter gets everywhere.
If you can’t find a reason to smile, try putting on bright red lipstick. It’s amazing how a bold lip color can change your mood.
Sometimes you just need to dance like no one’s watching, even if everyone is staring at you.
Life is too short for boring socks. Wear the ones with tacos and unicorns. It’s called fashion, darling.
Don’t worry about being the black sheep. Be the rainbow llama in a field of ordinary sheep.
Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.
You can’t make everyone happy, but you can eat cake, and that’s kind of the same thing.
Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy!
Don’t judge a book by its movie. Except if the movie is based on a Nicholas Sparks novel.
If procrastinating was a sport, I’d probably… eh, I’ll finish that thought later.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Just make sure to avoid the ones that want to swallow you whole.
Life is like a potato chip, you can't just have one!I'm not lazy, I'm just…
Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops!Love is blind, but…
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.Roses are…
Marriage is like a game of chess - one wrong move and you're in checkmate!Marriage…
I love you like a squirrel loves acorns – nuts about you!True love is like…
Did you know that honey never spoils? Archaeologists have found pots of honey in ancient…