Believe in yourself, even if everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.
Dream big, because then you can fail spectacularly.
Life is like a rollercoaster, except most of the time, you’re just stuck at the bottom.
The only way to find your purpose in life is to try everything and realize you’re not good at any of it.
Success is just a fancy way of saying you fooled everyone.
The only thing worse than failing is realizing you actually believed in yourself.
Motivation is overrated; sometimes you just need a good nap.
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s probably because you’re not meant to succeed.
Follow your dreams, unless your dreams involve doing something ridiculously stupid.
When life gives you lemons, throw them away and go buy some pizza.
Don’t worry about being unique; there are plenty of idiots out there just like you.
Life is short, so make sure to waste as much of it as possible.
If you can’t be a good example, then you might as well be an entertaining cautionary tale.
Don’t let anyone bring you down, because you’re already at the bottom.
Happiness comes from within, but so does misery, so you’re screwed either way.
Don’t be afraid to take risks and fail miserably; it builds character.
The only thing standing between you and success is your complete lack of talent.
Positive thinking is overrated; embrace the beauty of negativity.
Life is a comedy, but if you’re the punchline, it’s not that funny.
Don’t worry about making mistakes; no one expects much from you anyway.
If you can’t be a star, be a black hole and suck all the fun out of everything.
You’re more likely to win the lottery than find fulfillment in life, so buy a ticket and cross your fingers.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment, because it’s never going to come.
Failure is just a stepping stone on the road to more failure.
It’s not about how hard you fall, it’s about how many people you take down with you.
Forget about finding your passion; just find the nearest couch and a Netflix subscription.
The only way to truly understand life is to have absolutely no clue what’s going on.
If life gives you lemons, ask for a refund and demand better fruit.
Instead of chasing rainbows, why not just stay indoors where it’s dry?
Success is like a unicorn; it doesn’t exist, but it makes for a good bedtime story.
Embrace your failures, because at least you’re consistent.
The secret to happiness is to lower your expectations to rock bottom.
If you can’t find inspiration, try looking under a stack of failed dreams.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; be afraid of running out of fresh ideas for mistakes.
Instead of looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, make yourself comfortable in the darkness.
Believe in yourself, even if your rational mind tells you not to.
Success is just a fancy way of saying you sold out your soul.
Nothing is impossible, except for finding a reasonable parking spot in a crowded city.
Forgive and forget, because holding grudges takes up valuable time and energy that you could be wasting on something else.
Don’t compare yourself to others, because they’re probably just as lost and clueless as you are.
The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing and probably never will.
Don’t let rejection bring you down; it only means you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly fine.
Life is too short to worry about what others think; they’re probably not even paying attention anyway.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; just be prepared to have an extensive collection of ‘what not to do’ examples.
Everyone has a unique journey in life, but yours is probably more meandering and confusing than others.
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