Dumb and Dumber Quotes

So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!

According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.

We’re supposed to be millionaires, and now we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere with no car, no money, and definitely no food!

Harry, your hands are freezing! – I know, Lloyd. I’ve been driving all night with the windows down.

Our pets’ heads are falling off! Are you saying you only care about yourself?

That John Denver’s full of shit, man.

Why don’t you eat up and we’ll tell you?

I’m only human, Harry.

Just go man, let’s go.

I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.

Do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve taken our last car, broken our last TV, and now you’re hiding out in the mountains of Colorado gas-inducing animal misery!

I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero!

We’ve landed on the moon!

I could use a burger right about now. I’m starving.

You spilled the salt, Lloyd! Spilling the salt is very bad luck!

I got worms!

Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

I’m gonna hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

I couldn’t stop smiling. It was like I was cut from the team, and then found out that I could play. And you were to my dad… and to me… you were my hero.

Austria! Well, then. G’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!

Go there, you might get lucky.

Some people just can’t hold their arsenic.

Harry, your hands are freezing! – Yeah, it’s like a mini-mall.

Harry, I took care of it.

We have plenty of towels, extra soap and six shower caps. I counted them myself.

You’re tacky, and I hate you.

According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches!

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

Skis, huh? That’s right! That’s the reason we need to go to Aspen… to deliver these.

I’m freezing my ass off!

We got no food, no job, our pets’ heads are falling off.

Check out the funbags on that hose hound.

Kick his ass, Seabass!

Are you telling me you drove all the way from Providence to Aspen… on two hundred and seventy-five thousand miles of gas.

Goodbye, my love!

That John Denver is full of shit, man!

I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn’t even see it coming.

Yeah, it’s amazing how quickly things can turn around for you… with just one stupid decision.

Gun or a knife?

You had it in your purse the whole time? What if we had been to the moon and back?

I am sick and tired of having to eke my way through life.

Check out the butt on that one.

Hey, look at the buns on that one.

You know, Lloyd, just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

You just fell off the jetway again?

Yes, if they were of the same height.

I would have to be a real low life to go rooting around in someone else’s private property!