Dean Martin Quotes

In case you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Dean Martin

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin

I’d hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all day. – Dean Martin

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. – Dean Martin

I only drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I drink to forget I drink. – Dean Martin

I never saw my father drunk. Not once. I wish to hell I could find a picture of him with a drink in his hand, so I could show it to my friends and say, ‘Here’s the man who made me what I am.’ – Dean Martin

I love drinking because it allows me to escape reality. Reality being having to hear myself talk. – Dean Martin

I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and both my cheeks sobered up. – Dean Martin

I don’t drink anymore… I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle. – Dean Martin

I love a martini — but two at the most. Three, I’m under the table; four, I’m under my host! – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I’ve been accused of being drunk. I’ve never been accused of being boring. – Dean Martin

I drink to forget, but I never forget to drink. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I don’t like staying in hotels. I like to be the guest of someone I don’t know. – Dean Martin

If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let ’em. That’s how I got here, you know. – Dean Martin

I only drink to make other people seem more interesting. – Dean Martin

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I’m not a drinker with a writing problem, I’m a writer with a drinking problem. – Dean Martin

I don’t get drunk, I just get less classy and more fun. – Dean Martin

It takes terrible things to make me right good songs. It takes terrible things to make me drink. And it takes terrible things to make me stop. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. – Dean Martin

The drunker I got, the more loving I got, and the more loving I got, the drunker I got. – Dean Martin

Sometimes when I’m drunk I think I can sing. – Dean Martin

I don’t drink anymore. I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle. – Dean Martin

I have drunk champagne in fountains, in bathtubs, in boots … – Dean Martin

You ain’t drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I’m drinkin’ whatever will kill me quickest. – Dean Martin

Drinking is a way of ending the day. – Dean Martin

I drink just to make other people look better. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I love to have fun, but not always in that stupid, fun kind of way. – Dean Martin

I don’t drink anymore. I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle. – Dean Martin

Drinking calms me down, makes my life funnier, and makes my misery even funnier. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I’m having a great time … but don’t tell my face. – Dean Martin

I love drinking, because it allows me to escape reality. Reality being having to hear myself talk. – Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

I drink to forget I drink. – Dean Martin