Irony is just God’s way of playing a little joke on us.
Life’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s just a bunch of assholes and rain.
Do I look like the type of guy who gives a shit about what others think?
Being cool is overrated. I’d rather be weird and have fun.
I don’t need luck, I have skill.
Sarcasm is my default setting.
I come from a planet called ‘Whatever, it’s cool.’
If life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
I don’t trust people who say they don’t like pizza.
Bros before hoes, unless the bro is a hoe.
Why be normal when you can be different?
I’m allergic to stupidity. It gives me hives.
Sometimes the best response is just an eyeroll.
I’m too old for this shit, but still too young for retirement.
Life’s too short to take everything so seriously.
I’m not a badass, I just have a strong personality.
I would rather have a life full of ‘oh well’ than ‘what if’.
Don’t judge me, you don’t even know half of my story.
I’m like a fine wine, I get better with age.
I don’t need a superhero, I am one.
Boredom is the enemy, let’s slay it together.
My level of sarcasm is so high, it’s like I’m fluent in it.
People say I have a dark sense of humor. I just see it as being realistic.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
If sarcasm was an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist.
Why be serious when you can be silly?
I’m like a Rubik’s cube, it takes a special kind of person to figure me out.
Life’s a bitch, but I’m tougher.
I may be young, but I’ve seen enough to know better.
I don’t need a cape to save the day, just a sarcastic comment.
Fear is just an illusion, and I don’t have time for illusions.
Don’t hate me because I’m awesome, hate me because you can’t be.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me weird, I’d be a millionaire.
I don’t follow trends, I set them.
I have a black belt in sarcasm.
I’d rather be a smartass than a dumbass.
My idea of a good time is a sarcastic conversation with good company.
I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not boring.
Life is too short to be taken seriously, have some fun.
I don’t need a filter, my personality speaks for itself.
I’m not a player, I just crush a lot of dreams.
I don’t need a map, I make my own paths.
If being awesome was a crime, I’d be serving a life sentence.
I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s shot of whiskey.
My life motto: ‘expect the unexpected and laugh about it.’
I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.
I’m not here to fit in, I’m here to stand out.
I may not have it all figured out, but I’m figuring it out as I go.
I may be sarcastic, but at least I’m funny.
Life’s too short to be boring, so let’s make it interesting.
Binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the United States.It affects both…
Yahoo financial quotes: Unlocking the power of numbers for informed investing.Numbers don't lie: Yahoo financial…
Yahoo Finance: Where money and information meet.Tracking my recent quotes on Yahoo Finance for a…
Brackets in quotes add clarity to your writing.Using brackets in quotes can help to clarify…
According to...In the words of...As stated by...In reference to...Quoting from...As articulated by...Echoing...To quote...In the opinion…
In the words of Albert Einstein, 'Imagination is more important than knowledge.'As Maya Angelou once…