Charlie Kelly Quotes

Wildcard, bitches!

I’m not smart, but I can lift heavy things.

I’m the coolest guy in the bar, no doubt about it.

I have the mind of a child and the body of a man.

Do you want to join my cult, the Church of Charlie?

I’m the king of cats!

I’ll never be able to read or write, but I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

I have an extensive collection of cat food and glue.

I’m a master of manipulation and deception.

I am the Dayman, fighter of the Nightman!

I have a lot of conspiracy theories, but I’m pretty sure at least one of them is true.

I’m not trash, I’m an artist!

I can fit my entire body into a couch.

I’m a full-on rapist! You know, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m definitely the most entertaining.

I eat stickers all the time, dude.

I’m a master of bird law.

I have a great appreciation for denim.

I am not Charlie Kelly. I am Pepe Silvia!

I have many hidden talents, like huffing glue and crushing beer cans on my forehead.

I’m not a failure. I’m an innovator.

I have a black belt in karate, but only when I’m drunk.

I’m the mastermind behind Kitten Mittens, the ultimate cat accessory.

I’m a professional bird watcher. I can spot a bald eagle from a mile away.

I have a deep understanding of the art of illiteracy.

I may not have any teeth, but I can gum a steak like nobody’s business.

I’m the life of the party, until I take it too far and start setting things on fire.

I have a pet rat named Dennis Reynolds. He’s a real scumbag.

I believe in the power of magnets. They’re like magic, but science.

I have a natural gift for breaking into people’s homes. It’s a real talent.

I may not have a job, but I have an unparalleled work ethic when it comes to Charlie work.

I’m a master at Mac and cheese, I can even make it without burning the house down.

I’m a self-proclaimed expert on bird law and dumpster diving.

I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

I may not have a lot going for me, but I sure know how to have a good time.

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m definitely the most entertaining.

I eat stickers all the time, dude.

I may not have any successes, but I have a lot of great ideas.

I have a vast collection of string, because you never know when you’ll need it.

I’m an expert in home security. I can break into any house in under 20 minutes.

I may not have a lot of money, but I have a heart of gold. And some glue.

I’m the king of the creepy crawlers. I can catch a spider with my bare hands.

I have an extensive collection of toe knives. You never know when you’ll need to trim a toenail.

I may not have a refined palate, but I have a strong stomach for questionable leftovers.

I’m a master of disguise. I can blend into any crowd without being noticed.

I have a unique talent for fitting into small spaces. It comes in handy when I need to hide from the law.

I’m a connoisseur of fine wines, especially those that come in a box.

I may not have a lot of book smarts, but I have a PhD in street smarts.

I’m an expert in survival tactics. I can live off ramen noodles and cat food for weeks.

I may not be the hero Gotham deserves, but I’m definitely the hero it needs.