Cat Sayings Funny: Hilarious Phrases for Feline Lovers

In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.

Time spent with cats is never wasted.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

Cat hair is lonely people’s glitter.

Cats are like chips, you can never have just one.

You can’t escape a cat. They’ll always find you.

Dogs will flatter you, but cats will scorn you ’til you serve their needs.

If cats could talk, they would lie to you.

Do I believe in love at first sight? Absolutely, I fall in love with every cat I see.

Cats: because sometimes people suck.

What part of ‘meow’ don’t you understand?

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Cats have us trained in no time.

Never sleep alone because cats are great bed warmers.

Home is where your kitty is.

I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile? Death thought about it. Cats, he said eventually. Cats are nice.

Cats are stuffed animals for grown-up people.

Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend… Never owned a cat.

Real men love cats.

Sleeping with cats: You start out with a little space on the bed and wake up on the edge of the pillow.

Time spent with cats is never wasted.

Cats are like music. It’s foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don’t appreciate them.

In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Accessibility to a cat is a privilege – don’t abuse it.

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.

You haven?t experienced true love until you?ve been owned by a cat.

Home is where your cat is.

My cat doesn’t act aloof. He just has a higher standard for who he chooses to hang out with.

If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the cat.

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.

Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made a slave of the leash. That one is the cat.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

A cat can purr its way out of anything.

I gave my cat a bath the other day… they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that?

If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.

A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cats have it all: admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.

Meow? means ?woof? in cat.

I’ve got the speed of a cheetah and the chill of a cat on a hot tin roof.

If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.

Who needs television when you have cats fighting in the corner?

You can always find hope in a cat’s eyes, unless it’s nap time.

The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.

I don’t know what I did to deserve my cat?s affection, but I must have been a mouse in a past life.

In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.

The only thing a cat fears is running out of food…and maybe vacuum cleaners.

The aloofness of a cat is just a performance for their unrequited admirers.

A cat’s worst enemy is a closed door.

There is no ‘we’ in food, say every cat ever.

A cat’s curiosity is just their strategy for world domination.

Dog has owners, cat has staff.

If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there. Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them.

Time spent with a cat is never wasted, unless you are a mouse.

You might own a cat, but they most definitely own your heart.

A cat’s idea of a perfect day: Sleep until you’re hungry, then eat until you’re sleepy.

Behind every great person, there is a cat…probably knocking something over.